American English vs British English

THIS POST CONTAINS UNCENSORED STRONG LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL REFERENCES. READER DESCRETION IS ADVISED.

Hiya! Howdy! Whatever stereotypical greeting you prefer! One thing you may have noticed while reading my stuff is that sometimes I might spell things a little bit weird, or use different terminology that makes little to no sense. I often receive reviews and comments believing these things to be simple errors, typos, or maybe that my grammar and spelling isn't up to scratch. Well, I'm here to tell you that it isn't any of those things (most of the time anyway). I am, in fact, British. We do things a little differently with our own language, and I think the same often goes for Canada, New Zealand and Australia. I'm pretty sure most of the time, us four tend to have the same spellings for things; it's actually you Americans that are the weirdos. So yes, this means that I write my stuff in 'British English'. 

A lot of the time, I tend to stick to writing this way, because it's what I prefer, and if I try to write in American English, my laptop tends to have a stroke when it comes to spell-checking. If I switch it to recognise American English, I run the risk of forgetting I did it and ruining important paperwork. But unfortunately, this does lead to some confusion with my readers. So today, I'm here to clear things up for you. I'll show you the different British spelling of words, as well as provide translations for different words and terminology that we use. Hopefully this will be interesting and educational, and maybe allow you to read my work without thinking I'm stupid... well... not as stupid anyway... 

I want to start by explaining that when I say 'British English', I'm talking in very generic terms. In fact, pretty much nowhere in Britain is alike. We're a small group of islands, but if you literally drive just five minutes down the road, you will enter a completely different culture with totally different accents and dialects. And would it surprise you to know that English is not the only official language here? Granted most of the others are facing extinction thanks to deeply embedded racism, but some are actually starting to make a comeback in recent years. As well as English, other languages here include, Welsh, Cornish, Manx, Gaelic, Scots, Irish, and Shelta. Though to be honest, with the differences in accents, you could say that each county might as well have its own individual language. Yorkshire (where I'm from) would be a prime example. 

So for the sake of simplicity, I'll be sticking to all of the generic stuff; the things that will get you by in a conversation with anyone and for when reading and writing. First, I will be starting off with spelling differences, and then I'll move onto the different names and terminology that we use. Without further adieu, onto the spelling differences. The American version will be provided on the left, and the British version on the right:

Color - Colour

Organization - Organisation 

Labor - Labour

Traveling/Traveled - Travelling/travelled

Center - Centre

Meter - Metre

Theater - Theatre

Realize - Realise

Program - Programme

Airplane - Aeroplane

Sulfur - Sulphur

Fetus - Foetus 

Gray - Grey

Analyze - Analyse

Tire - Tyre

Dialog - Dialogue

Ass - Arse

Check (bill) - Cheque 

Mom/Mommy - Mum/mummy

Jewelry - Jewellery 

Offense - Offence 

Defense - Defence

Estrogen - Oestrogen

Mustache - Moustache 

Cozy - Cosy

Behavior - Behaviour

Learned - Learnt

Favorite - Favourite

Neighbor - Neighbour

Humor - Humour

Paralyze - Paralyse

Pajamas - Pyjamas 

Those are the main differences that seem to pop up all the time and confuse people, but if you can think of any others, please feel free to leave them in a comment. That list should give you the basic gist of things. Basically, most words in America spelt with a 'Z' is actually an 'S' in Britain. Words that end in 'or' tend to end in 'our' for us. A lot of the time, we tend to keep the original French, Germanic or Latin spelling of certain words since English is heavily influenced by those languages. But at least when reading these, you guys can still likely understand them, even if they're spelt (there's another one lol) differently. 

What really tends to confuse you guys, is the different terms for items, objects, actions etc. Once again, the American version will be on the left, and the British translation will be on the right:

Trunk - Boot

Mail - Post

Vacation - Holiday

Cookie - Biscuit

Candy - Sweets

Chips - Crisps

Fries - Chips

College - University (College for Britain is complicated)

Apartment - Flat (though apartment is widely used too)

Laundry - Washing

Cotton Candy - Candy Floss

Junk/Trash/Garbage - Rubbish

Trash Can - Bin

Restroom/Bathroom - Toilet/Loo

Shopping Cart - Trolley

Bangs - Fringe

Barrette - Hair Slide/Hair Clip

Braid - Plat 

Sidewalk - Pavement

Closet - Wardrobe

Crib - Cot

Diaper - Nappy

Drug Store - Chemist

ER (Emergency Room) - A&E (Accident & Emergency)

Elevator - Lift

Eggplant - Aubergine 

Zucchini - Courgette 

Pacifier - Dummy

Pants - Trousers

Pantyhose - Tights

Parking Lot - Car Park

Mall - Shopping Centre

Soccer - Football

Subway - Underground/Tube

Sweater - Jumper

Takeout - Takeaway

Tic-Tac-Toe - Noughts and Crosses

Checkers - Draughts 

Usually when you say any of the American versions of these words, a British person will likely understand what you are talking about due to the worldwide consumption of American media. Yet Americans hardly ever seem to know the British version of these words, and it's always hilarious to confuse my boyfriend and friends with them. 

However, what you have really got to look out for is words in America that might mean something entirely different in the UK. Some can even come across as rude or offensive, so it's best to watch out for these ones. Once again, the American version of the word is on the right, and the British translation is on the left:

Fanny - Vagina

Pants - Underwear

Knob - Can mean doorknob, but mainly means penis 

Randy - Horny

Spunk - Semen 

[Peace sign with back of hand facing the other person] - Fuck you

Yeah, a lot of these words are a lot more innocent in America, but in the UK, they can mean something much more silly and hilarious, so if you use these words in conversation with us, you're likely to attract a few weird looks. The backwards peace sign is one thing you've got to really watch out for. It has the same meaning as the middle finger over here. 

Furthermore, there is also some slang terms that we use over here in Britain that don't have exact translations in America, so I'll quickly go through them with you. The British word is on the left, and the explanation for Americans is on the right. 

Chav - A word to describe someone of a lower social class who is often perceived as stupid and violent. Tend to wear sports clothes, and are often seen as lacking in morals. 

Wank/Wanker - To masturbate. To call someone a wanker is offensive and is equivalent to calling them a dick. Very common insult used in the UK.

Chin-Wag - Slang for hanging around and talking to someone.

College - In America, it tends to just mean university. But for us in the UK, it's a bit more complicated. There are different types of colleges. There are sixth form colleges when people from age 16-18 attend to study for A-Levels and similar qualifications. College in general is also a place of education that anyone from the age of 16 or over can attend. They tend to be a more casual form of university and are seen as less prestigious (even though the degrees are worth the same).  

Ey Up - This one is more prevalent in the north of England and has multiple different meanings. It can mean 'hello', it can mean 'move out of the way', an exclamation of shock, humour or innuendo, or it could mean 'how are you?' or 'what's going on?' Meaning depends on context its used in. 

These are the main things that I can think of that are most likely to pop up in my work or other work by British creators. By all means, feel free to add your own into the comments, or ask about any words or spellings that I may have potentially missed. If you enjoyed this and are interested in learning more, I may even do a blog post on British culture one day. I could take you through how different our schools, food, and every day life can be in ye olde England. I hope that you found this post helpful, and that I proved that I'm not really as stupid as my work can make me out to be; it's just cultural differences lol. At the end of the day, despite the differences between us, American and Britain will always be weird cousins. And maybe one day, we'll come to forgive them for dumping all of that tea into the sea. 

A massive thank you to my boyfriend, Jowy, for helping me write this post. In case you didn't know, my boyfriend is American, so he was a huge help in providing me with American words and translations. He has been confused many times by the way I write and speak. Half the time he can't understand what I'm saying, so I hope that this post also helps him too!

God save the Queen yadda yadda.