Pixie's Chronicle: Stahp It!

Ugh, I literally feel like I'm about to explode. Even when I'm taking a break from the Miraculous fandom and writing for it, I'm still getting abuse. Seriously?! Leave me alone! I'm sick of having to delete abusive comments and I'm sick of the people who think it's okay to treat people like this. It's always anonymous as well. I'm on the verge of removing the ability for people to comment anonymously. I don't want to have to do that, especially since I love hearing all of you guys' opinions, but I'm reaching the end of my patience. Because these comments are always anonymous. Funny that.

So yeah, good start to a blog post there: me ranting and raving again. I know I'm probably giving these people exactly what they want by doing this, but I need to vent. Besides, they probably don't care enough to read my blog anyway. This has been the perfect end to my Saturday where I was hoping to relax and recover from all the other crap that's been going on in my life lately. But I guess I'm just being a 'drama queen' again asdfghjkl.

On top of the stuff that I mentioned I've been dealing with in my author's note, I have now also discovered that I could be about to lose my job. Go figure. The cherry on top of an amazing year I'd say. Nothing is concrete yet - so they say - but it still isn't a nice thing to have hanging over you. I knew it was coming the minute our regional manager called us all in for a meeting. As you already know, she never has anything to do with us unless it's bad news or if it's to chew us out over something. So yeah, we knew that it had to be something bad, and we all predicted redundancies. We were correct. 

I suppose I could've handled it... better? We all took it really hard, but everyone apart from me had a normal reaction. They were all sad and worried, and I was too, but how did I express it? In typical Pixie fashion by being sarcastic and making a joke out of it. So when I sat down for my consultation, I immediately made a joke about going into prostitution and asked if I could take all of the hummus chips as compensation. My regional manager said it was the most unique reaction she has ever experienced when telling staff they might lose their job. Despite how nasty and horrible she's been in the past, she was actually pretty supportive of us this time, which I was greatful for. She said a few stupid things, but I managed to ignore them. She was even willing to offer me mental health support which was nice. Though I still haven't heard anything on that front. I guess it's the thought that counts? 

So yeah. By the new year, I could be out of a job. Just like pretty much everyone else in the UK right now. I was talking with aliixo about this, and she was in the same position. No one is hiring and everyone needs a job. It's going to be a very rough few months. I have no clue what I'm going to do. I even thought maybe about taking commissions, but I very much doubt that will be a success. I also keep thinking about maybe doing some streaming just to pass the time and help distract me from all the crap that's going on, but I don't even know where to even begin with that. How do you guys feel about watching me suck at video games? I dunno. I'm just throwing around ideas and hoping that something sticks. 

But I suppose out of all of my colleagues, I'm in one of the best positions. One of them has young children, and the other two have rent and bills to pay. My manager and I are okayish since we both still live with a family member, and no doubt my manager will manage to get her old job back. But still, losing my income is gonna suuuuuccck. Especially since I was hoping to get my own place. My mum wouldn't kick me out, but still, I hate not being able to pay my way. I can get government support, sure, but they make your life hell for doing so. They're like, "how dare you be poor, unemployed and reliant on us?!" I'm going to let you in on a little secret: last time I needed financial help, they almost drove me to suicide. Yup. And it's not like I can rely on my mental health support group because we can't meet up because of COVID-19. This year is the biggest pile of poo ever. 

On another note, I hope that you all had an awesome Halloween. Mine was very sub-par as it didn't feel like Halloween at all. We don't really celebrate it in the UK to the extent that America does, which sucks in itself, but this year was even worse due to the pandemic. Jowy and I watched some horror videos and spooky stuff, as well as marathoned Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, which definitely helped to cheer me up a little bit. I don't even feel like the spooky content was all that good this year though. Again, that's probably because of the pandemic. I don't really believe in ghosts or the supernatural, but watching that stuff is always fun. I just tend to stay away from most horror movies, especially those that rely on jumpscares. They're always a recipe for a panic attack. 

I also hope my fellow British readers had a safe Guy Fawkes Night. We've had a few people in my neighbourhood throwing fireworks at people, so yeah... if the virus doesn't take us out first then stupid kids with fireworks will lol. This year made me realise just how much I miss going to bonfires. The last one I went to was yeeeeaaaarrrs ago with my best mate. That was when we nearly had our eyebrows singed off thanks to us stupidly standing too close to the fire. Oh yeah, and there was that one time I made myself sick because I ate like a pig. What? Bonfire food is delicious! I think I had, like, two bonfire toffee lollies, a toffee apple, a jacket potato, some flapjack and a cup of soup. Then swinging upside down on the fence probably didn't help. Ahhhh, good times at the rugby club lol. 

The only downside to Bonfire Night these past few years has been worrying about my dog. As I'm sure most of you are aware, dogs do not do fireworks. So I've been spending a few evenings cuddling up to her and trying to shield her ears as much as possible. As cool and pretty as fireworks are, some of them really are unnecessarily loud. Especially if you're launching them in a neighbourhood at 1am on a Thursday night when people are trying to sleep!

I missed Halloween on Animal Crossing which makes me feel like an idiot. I've been too distracted reading fanfiction lately. Now that I'm not obsessing and panicking over my own work, I have been getting some much needed reading done. Only I haven't been reading what I'm supposed to have been reading, and have instead been binge reading Hellsing fanfics. I officially have a problem. I wonder what fandom it's going to be next? Overlord I'd imagine since that's been crossing my mind a lot lately. That and I still need to look into that new Inuyasha series. Oh yeah, and the new season of His Dark Materials will be out soon, so there's that. Gah! So much to obsess over in so little time!

And I still need to catch up on a bunch of LycoRogue's work! I'm pretty sure there's still a few of her fanfics that I have yet to read and review. Only problem now is that I've lost track. If you're reading this LycoRogue, can you give me helping hand? Lol, I'm useless. We even bounced around ideas for a Miraculous fanfic together the other day which sounds really interesting. Well, LycoRogue came up with the idea, I just threw a few more random stuff at it like some crazy collage piece. LycoRogue is literally the best at coming up with 'what if?' scenarios. She's the ultimate parallel universe creator!

Anyway, I think I'm going to go back to my pillow fort now. I hope that you guys are all doing okay, and once again, I cannot appreciate your love and support enough! It's like being cuddled by a thousand friends! I wish you all he happiness and positive vibes in the world! You're the best!