Yo! This week has kinda felt like it's dragged, but I suppose that's because so much has been happening lately. Not drama, thank god, but just all sorts really. There's been so many changes that I've been needing to make, which seems to be the theme of this week. I'm not usually someone who copes well with change, but I've found myself actually welcoming it this time. I suppose that just goes to show how much I have grown as a person, which is great!
There have been ups and downs as usual, but overall, I'm feeling pretty secure in life now. I just hope that me saying that didn't jinx anything as it often does. It feels great to not be wallowing around depressed all the time. I feel like I'm finally beating my own mind. Whether that will continue remains to be seen, but I'm really going to perservere to make sure I never have a bad relapse again like I did back in March.
I suppose the most obvious change that you guys can see right now is that I've changed my look. I decided to get a haircut after spending the last two years growing my hair quite long. I swing back and forth between phases of wanting my hair long and short, and this time was the turn of the urge to have it short. So yeah, my hair now just reaches my shoulders as opposed to reaching the middle of my back. I felt like it would be great for the new and improved me. That, and it's easier to maintain and looks less scruffy. My hair is often halfway between soft and frizzy, so it just always looks like I'm carrying a bird's nest on top of my head. At least at this length it looks tidier.
The outfit change was just because I felt like those clothes were more close to my actual sense of style. I mean, I do wear stuff like my last Bitmoji character was wearing, but I just really hated the belt and the height of the boots, because they were so not me. This outfit is 100% me.
Monday was quite a fun day at work as usual, though I did end up messing up a few times which was embarrassing. Though to be fair the first guy I was trying to help was being really awkward. Never underestimate the power of customer stupidity. I swear when it comes to shopping or anything medical, which is what I work in, people leave their brains at home. He was also really bossy to his wife or mother (whatever she was) which had me itching to say something but I couldn't.
However, Monday ended up going downhill when my dog was attacked by another dog. It's always little toy dogs as well that seem to be the most aggressive. I wasn't there when it happened, but if I was there, I would have bloody kicked that other dog. As much as I love dogs, if another stupid yappy little dog attacks mine, I will do everything in my power to protect my own. This isn't the first time that it's happened either as my dog is always being attacked by the tiny toy dogs at the park.
My dog is an anxious and timid dog as she is, I don't need other stuff constantly making it worse. At least these owners were apologetic though compared to the last few who just didn't seem to care. My dog was acting really weird afterwards, which we originally just attributed to her being in shock or something. She was really quiet, didn't want to play (a major red flag) and she was salivating everywhere. We checked for puncture wounds, but we couldn't find any, so we began to feel at a loss as what was exactly wrong. In the end, we decided to wait and see how she was the next day, and if she was no better, then we would take her to the vet.
She ended up being better the next morning so we just shrugged it off as her being anxious and stressed. I went to work feeling pretty happy. Work was really quiet as there was only me and two other members of staff on duty which ended up making things pretty stressful as I was having to juggle multiple tasks at once. Things finally calmed down and I headed off to my lunchbreak when I saw that I had a text off my mum. My dog has taken a turn for the worse again. I called her to find out what was going on, and she had an emergency vet appointment booked as she was acting incredibly lethargic again.
So I had to leave work and dash all the way to the vet. My dog had a thorough exam, which was hard to watch given how stressed and scared she gets. Then finally the vet announced that he had found a mass in her mouth. Of course, that immediately sent us into panic mode, because as soon as you hear the word 'mass', you usually automatically think of a tumour. The vet explained that he was pretty sure that it was just inflammation, though there was always the slight possibility that it could be a tumour. He prescribed her some anti-inflammatory medicine, and if it hadn't gone down within a week, then she would need a biopsy. So yeah, that thought was terrifying.
After her first dose though, she was a brand new dog and was her usual giddy and hyperactive self. That gave us some hope that it was just inflammation, likely caused by the fight that she had gotten into the day before. But we still wanted to keep a close eye on her, as knowing our luck, something else was bound to go wrong. I don't think I've ever been so stressed in all my life.
Finally feeling better myself, I was able to FINALLY finish the latest chapter of Chat Vert. It was a bit of a short filler chapter, but I'm just glad that I have finished it at last and that I can hopefully get back into the swing of things. I'd missed getting some proper writing done a lot. I am sorry that it took two months to update, and I really hope that it doesn't take that long again. Honestly, Chat Vert should have been finished long ago. Stupid real life. If you haven't read the latest chapter yet, then you can do so by clicking here.
Thursday was another fun day at work. It was also the day that I got my new haircut. Because my hair is so thick, it always takes forever for me to have it cut. By the time my hairdresser had finished, it looked like a woolly mammoth had collapsed on the floor around me. My head felt so much lighter as well which is always a weird feeling.
I had hoped to get the next chapter of Madness Within finished on Friday, but I had a last minute appointment with my assistant thingy. Friday ended up being one of those days as I haven't been sleeping properly this week (another insomnia period), so it was really starting to effect me by then. I got rained on and no buses were showing up which had me panicking. I really need to finally learn to drive. When one finally showed up, I was running really late, and I was panicking because it was already 10:45, I needed to see my assistant to sign some paperwork, and then I needed to get to the other side of town for my therapy appointment at 11:00. Yeah, can you see my problem?
I practically ran into the office and got all my forms signed. Then my assistant started talking none stop. He's a nice guy, but he's one of those people that never shut up. By then it was 11:00, and he finally saw me looking at my watch in a panic and let me go at last. I probably should have said something, but I'm too awkward and polite for my own good.
Cue me running through town while on the phone to my therapist, babbling about how sorry I was for running late. She was cool with it, though it did eat into the session which was annoying. By the time all of it was over though, I was exhausted. I had used up the last of my energy and literally felt like I could just collapse and sleep for ten years (not that my body would let me). Anyone who follows me on Twitter will know how tired and loopy I've been. Putting my glasses in my laundry basket was definitely a dead giveaway. My therapist also told me off for not looking after myself, and has told me that I need to take at least an hour a day for myself where I can get some reading or meditating done. So far that's not going too well, but here's hoping I get into the habit soon.
After I got back from therapy, my dog started throwing up everywhere.
Here we go again.
So my plans of writing the next chapter of Madness Within were definitely cancelled. My poor dog would just not stop being sick, so we had to call the vet again. They suspected it was just a side effect of the medication she had been put on, so they told us to stop giving it to her and to bring her in for another exam. I'm susprised our vet isn't charging us rent at this point.
Luckily all was well though. Her vomiting was definitely just a side effect of the medicine, and the inflammation had also disappeared, meaning that she was okay. Now all we need is for her blood test results to come back okay in a few weeks and then we can finally relax. My poor dog has been through so much lately and I just want her to be happy and healthy.
Saturday ended up being another unlucky yet hilarious day. I just had to laugh at how much bad luck I seemed to be having. First I didn't get much sleep again which sucked. Then I realised I had nothing for breakfast since my bread had gone mouldy, which was weird since it was a fresh packet. Then when I looked at my watch, I realised I was running late so I had to dash out of the door. No buses were showing up again, so at this point I was just like, "you have got to be kidding me!" I was panicking about being late for work, so I got my phone out to track where the next bus was and that's when I happened to look at the clock on my phone. Then I looked at my watch and back to my phone. The battery on my watch was dying and had consequently sped ahead. It was earlier than I thought it was.
As facepalming and as annoying as it was, it could have easily gone the opposite way and then I would have really been in trouble. It meant that I could relax a bit as it meant that I wasn't running late for work. While at work, I got some studying done before doing some actual work, however, I then I preceeded to have an allergic reaction to something. I have no clue what it was, but all of a sudden my cheek and chin started burning and when I reached up to feel it, it was swelling up and becoming all bumpy. Like...what? I had no idea what caused it and I became paranoid about my appearance, trying to hide my face behind my hair. My boss got worried about me and became convinced I needed to go to hospital, but apart from the burning and the swelling, I felt fine. So I just dismissed the whole hospital idea and after a few hours, it went away on its own.
Oh yeah, and then I got attacked by a wasp which was fun. I'm terrified of wasps, and it's not something you want flying in your face when you're trying to talk to a customer about cannibis. I then ended up failing one of my exams because proteins and amino acids can go to hell with all of their complicated names. It's the names that get me, not the lack of understanding. Oh yeah, and I want to take this moment to say "screw minerals!" while I'm at it. Especially you selenium and chronium! So I've decided that I need to study harder and focus more. Determined to be the best medical student ever, I then preceeded to fall down the stairs after pulling a muscle in my foot. Great start.
By the time I got home, I was so tired that I just ended up passing out. And even then, I didn't sleep properly, nor did I get any decent sleep last night. Does anyone have any good sleep advice for me? Because I'm literally at my wit's end right now. I might have to resort to incense, which I really don't want to do, because knowing me, I'll end up setting my house on fire again.
Despite all of the chaos and changes that have been happening this week, it did end up being more productive than I imagined it would. Work on Immortal Bond and Professeur Noir has been going really well. Thank you so much to everyone on Twitter who suggested back up names for Immortal Bond! You were all a great help! Also, thank you to everyone who has been providing me with constructive criticism on Madness Within lately. It seems that now that story is more popular, it attracts more in depth reviews and advice. Which is great! I really appreciate you guys trying to help me improve.
On the topic of Madness Within, I'm hoping that it will finally be updated on Wednesday. Chat Vert will also hopefully be updated on Friday, and they should both go back to being updated at least once a week. In between them, I'll be working on other story ideas. I still need to also publish my dreams on FictionPress which should be a lot of fun. My review of the episode Party Crasher should also be uploaded onto my blog tomorrow, and HOPEFULLY I'll be going back to my normal schedule on AO3.
By the way, I have also now created a DeviantArt account. You can check me out by clicking here, and details will also be provided on my other profiles and stuff. I've been told I need to get an account for years. Not sure whether I'll be uploading my stories onto there, but I am hoping to post some of my own artwork as well as create a place where people can access all the fanart of my stories. I have a favourites folder where I can keep them all, so please let me know if you make any. I love it all!
There have been ups and downs as usual, but overall, I'm feeling pretty secure in life now. I just hope that me saying that didn't jinx anything as it often does. It feels great to not be wallowing around depressed all the time. I feel like I'm finally beating my own mind. Whether that will continue remains to be seen, but I'm really going to perservere to make sure I never have a bad relapse again like I did back in March.
I suppose the most obvious change that you guys can see right now is that I've changed my look. I decided to get a haircut after spending the last two years growing my hair quite long. I swing back and forth between phases of wanting my hair long and short, and this time was the turn of the urge to have it short. So yeah, my hair now just reaches my shoulders as opposed to reaching the middle of my back. I felt like it would be great for the new and improved me. That, and it's easier to maintain and looks less scruffy. My hair is often halfway between soft and frizzy, so it just always looks like I'm carrying a bird's nest on top of my head. At least at this length it looks tidier.
The outfit change was just because I felt like those clothes were more close to my actual sense of style. I mean, I do wear stuff like my last Bitmoji character was wearing, but I just really hated the belt and the height of the boots, because they were so not me. This outfit is 100% me.
Monday was quite a fun day at work as usual, though I did end up messing up a few times which was embarrassing. Though to be fair the first guy I was trying to help was being really awkward. Never underestimate the power of customer stupidity. I swear when it comes to shopping or anything medical, which is what I work in, people leave their brains at home. He was also really bossy to his wife or mother (whatever she was) which had me itching to say something but I couldn't.
However, Monday ended up going downhill when my dog was attacked by another dog. It's always little toy dogs as well that seem to be the most aggressive. I wasn't there when it happened, but if I was there, I would have bloody kicked that other dog. As much as I love dogs, if another stupid yappy little dog attacks mine, I will do everything in my power to protect my own. This isn't the first time that it's happened either as my dog is always being attacked by the tiny toy dogs at the park.
My dog is an anxious and timid dog as she is, I don't need other stuff constantly making it worse. At least these owners were apologetic though compared to the last few who just didn't seem to care. My dog was acting really weird afterwards, which we originally just attributed to her being in shock or something. She was really quiet, didn't want to play (a major red flag) and she was salivating everywhere. We checked for puncture wounds, but we couldn't find any, so we began to feel at a loss as what was exactly wrong. In the end, we decided to wait and see how she was the next day, and if she was no better, then we would take her to the vet.
She ended up being better the next morning so we just shrugged it off as her being anxious and stressed. I went to work feeling pretty happy. Work was really quiet as there was only me and two other members of staff on duty which ended up making things pretty stressful as I was having to juggle multiple tasks at once. Things finally calmed down and I headed off to my lunchbreak when I saw that I had a text off my mum. My dog has taken a turn for the worse again. I called her to find out what was going on, and she had an emergency vet appointment booked as she was acting incredibly lethargic again.
So I had to leave work and dash all the way to the vet. My dog had a thorough exam, which was hard to watch given how stressed and scared she gets. Then finally the vet announced that he had found a mass in her mouth. Of course, that immediately sent us into panic mode, because as soon as you hear the word 'mass', you usually automatically think of a tumour. The vet explained that he was pretty sure that it was just inflammation, though there was always the slight possibility that it could be a tumour. He prescribed her some anti-inflammatory medicine, and if it hadn't gone down within a week, then she would need a biopsy. So yeah, that thought was terrifying.
After her first dose though, she was a brand new dog and was her usual giddy and hyperactive self. That gave us some hope that it was just inflammation, likely caused by the fight that she had gotten into the day before. But we still wanted to keep a close eye on her, as knowing our luck, something else was bound to go wrong. I don't think I've ever been so stressed in all my life.
Finally feeling better myself, I was able to FINALLY finish the latest chapter of Chat Vert. It was a bit of a short filler chapter, but I'm just glad that I have finished it at last and that I can hopefully get back into the swing of things. I'd missed getting some proper writing done a lot. I am sorry that it took two months to update, and I really hope that it doesn't take that long again. Honestly, Chat Vert should have been finished long ago. Stupid real life. If you haven't read the latest chapter yet, then you can do so by clicking here.
Thursday was another fun day at work. It was also the day that I got my new haircut. Because my hair is so thick, it always takes forever for me to have it cut. By the time my hairdresser had finished, it looked like a woolly mammoth had collapsed on the floor around me. My head felt so much lighter as well which is always a weird feeling.
I had hoped to get the next chapter of Madness Within finished on Friday, but I had a last minute appointment with my assistant thingy. Friday ended up being one of those days as I haven't been sleeping properly this week (another insomnia period), so it was really starting to effect me by then. I got rained on and no buses were showing up which had me panicking. I really need to finally learn to drive. When one finally showed up, I was running really late, and I was panicking because it was already 10:45, I needed to see my assistant to sign some paperwork, and then I needed to get to the other side of town for my therapy appointment at 11:00. Yeah, can you see my problem?
I practically ran into the office and got all my forms signed. Then my assistant started talking none stop. He's a nice guy, but he's one of those people that never shut up. By then it was 11:00, and he finally saw me looking at my watch in a panic and let me go at last. I probably should have said something, but I'm too awkward and polite for my own good.
Cue me running through town while on the phone to my therapist, babbling about how sorry I was for running late. She was cool with it, though it did eat into the session which was annoying. By the time all of it was over though, I was exhausted. I had used up the last of my energy and literally felt like I could just collapse and sleep for ten years (not that my body would let me). Anyone who follows me on Twitter will know how tired and loopy I've been. Putting my glasses in my laundry basket was definitely a dead giveaway. My therapist also told me off for not looking after myself, and has told me that I need to take at least an hour a day for myself where I can get some reading or meditating done. So far that's not going too well, but here's hoping I get into the habit soon.
After I got back from therapy, my dog started throwing up everywhere.
Here we go again.
So my plans of writing the next chapter of Madness Within were definitely cancelled. My poor dog would just not stop being sick, so we had to call the vet again. They suspected it was just a side effect of the medication she had been put on, so they told us to stop giving it to her and to bring her in for another exam. I'm susprised our vet isn't charging us rent at this point.
Luckily all was well though. Her vomiting was definitely just a side effect of the medicine, and the inflammation had also disappeared, meaning that she was okay. Now all we need is for her blood test results to come back okay in a few weeks and then we can finally relax. My poor dog has been through so much lately and I just want her to be happy and healthy.
Saturday ended up being another unlucky yet hilarious day. I just had to laugh at how much bad luck I seemed to be having. First I didn't get much sleep again which sucked. Then I realised I had nothing for breakfast since my bread had gone mouldy, which was weird since it was a fresh packet. Then when I looked at my watch, I realised I was running late so I had to dash out of the door. No buses were showing up again, so at this point I was just like, "you have got to be kidding me!" I was panicking about being late for work, so I got my phone out to track where the next bus was and that's when I happened to look at the clock on my phone. Then I looked at my watch and back to my phone. The battery on my watch was dying and had consequently sped ahead. It was earlier than I thought it was.
As facepalming and as annoying as it was, it could have easily gone the opposite way and then I would have really been in trouble. It meant that I could relax a bit as it meant that I wasn't running late for work. While at work, I got some studying done before doing some actual work, however, I then I preceeded to have an allergic reaction to something. I have no clue what it was, but all of a sudden my cheek and chin started burning and when I reached up to feel it, it was swelling up and becoming all bumpy. Like...what? I had no idea what caused it and I became paranoid about my appearance, trying to hide my face behind my hair. My boss got worried about me and became convinced I needed to go to hospital, but apart from the burning and the swelling, I felt fine. So I just dismissed the whole hospital idea and after a few hours, it went away on its own.
Oh yeah, and then I got attacked by a wasp which was fun. I'm terrified of wasps, and it's not something you want flying in your face when you're trying to talk to a customer about cannibis. I then ended up failing one of my exams because proteins and amino acids can go to hell with all of their complicated names. It's the names that get me, not the lack of understanding. Oh yeah, and I want to take this moment to say "screw minerals!" while I'm at it. Especially you selenium and chronium! So I've decided that I need to study harder and focus more. Determined to be the best medical student ever, I then preceeded to fall down the stairs after pulling a muscle in my foot. Great start.
By the time I got home, I was so tired that I just ended up passing out. And even then, I didn't sleep properly, nor did I get any decent sleep last night. Does anyone have any good sleep advice for me? Because I'm literally at my wit's end right now. I might have to resort to incense, which I really don't want to do, because knowing me, I'll end up setting my house on fire again.
Despite all of the chaos and changes that have been happening this week, it did end up being more productive than I imagined it would. Work on Immortal Bond and Professeur Noir has been going really well. Thank you so much to everyone on Twitter who suggested back up names for Immortal Bond! You were all a great help! Also, thank you to everyone who has been providing me with constructive criticism on Madness Within lately. It seems that now that story is more popular, it attracts more in depth reviews and advice. Which is great! I really appreciate you guys trying to help me improve.
On the topic of Madness Within, I'm hoping that it will finally be updated on Wednesday. Chat Vert will also hopefully be updated on Friday, and they should both go back to being updated at least once a week. In between them, I'll be working on other story ideas. I still need to also publish my dreams on FictionPress which should be a lot of fun. My review of the episode Party Crasher should also be uploaded onto my blog tomorrow, and HOPEFULLY I'll be going back to my normal schedule on AO3.
By the way, I have also now created a DeviantArt account. You can check me out by clicking here, and details will also be provided on my other profiles and stuff. I've been told I need to get an account for years. Not sure whether I'll be uploading my stories onto there, but I am hoping to post some of my own artwork as well as create a place where people can access all the fanart of my stories. I have a favourites folder where I can keep them all, so please let me know if you make any. I love it all!
"I need to take at least an hour a day for myself where I can get some reading or meditating done. So far that's not going too well, but here's hoping I get into the habit soon."
ReplyDeleteDon't worry folks, I am doing my best as well to ensure she sticks to doing that and gets better with it so she can be the best self she can be!
Awwww, what would I do without you? <3
DeleteJowy is good people.
DeleteI'm so glad you've grown to the point of welcoming change. I tend to adapt fairly well, and accept change once it's forced onto me, but I still fight making the first step in changing. It HAS to be forced onto me for me to be like “Oh.. okay. I got this.” So... you are far from alone in your dislike of change. (also, I too switch between wanting long and short hair. Plus, I too have wavy hair that looks all sorts of frizzy bird's nest! TWINSIES! :D ) Also, the Bitmoji looks cute. :D
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your dog! O_O That must have been so scary. I'm so glad that she seems better now. I hope she's all healed up.
Sorry you were suffering with insomnia again, but your therapist is right. I know it's hard with so many priorities in your life, but please focus on you for at least an hour so you can decompress.
Goodness, that was indeed a day of bad luck! At least you could see the humor in it after-the-fact. I'm so sorry you dealt with so many medical problems between you and your poor pooch. I hope everyone is okay now.
Final thought. Once upon a time, I didn't post fanfic on DA, just on FFN. I then saw more and more people going to DA for fanfiction???? So I decided to include it in my publication routine. However, for like every 50 readers I get on FFN I miiiiight get one hit on DA. On the flipside though, I just had 12 notifications on DA that I had a bunch of my stuff favorited this past weekend. So... *shrug * Take that as you will?
Yeah, change can definitely be a hard thing a accept, especially when it's not a good change. Lol, yeah, I drive everyone around me crazy with how I keep swapping and changing my mind. Bird nest high five! It's so fun having twigs for hair. Awww, thank you!
DeleteIt was super scary, but yeah, she's doing a lot better now. Her next liver test is coming up soon, so fingers crossed!
Yeah, each fanfiction site seems to be different and has different kinds of responses. It's really weird, but meh, it makes things interesting I guess. FanFiction.net is certainly where I get the most engagement, hence why I still use it as my main fanfiction account.