Phew! When I said that I was going to be really busy catching up on stuff this week, I really meant it, and even I couldn't prepare myself for just how much stuff I needed to do this week. I had hoped to get back to normal updating this week, but for those that follow me on Twitter, you already know that I ended up coming to the conclusion that there was no way that was going to happen this week. Thanks to my stupid illness last week, it meant that my work just kept on piling up, and I fell even more behind. Something had to give somewhere, and unfortunately I had to sacrifice fanfiction updates.
So yeah, that's pretty much been the overall theme of this week. So much for a relaxing break to re-set myself. But I guess now that I've finally caught up on a few things, it means that maybe finally things can get back to normal next week. Though if things don't work out again, one person suggested to me maybe updating my stories every two weeks or something, just to give myself some extra time and ease the pressure. I'll see how things go before I come to any decision like that, but this week, I certainly did have my hands full.
I always find it really daunting when I know that I have a lot of work to do, and sometimes it can even make me a bit panicky. It probably partly explains why my anxiety has been so bad this week. Then the fact that I was so anxious also put me on a bit of a downer, because I really felt like I had been making progress, but now I feel like I've taken a step backwards. It left me feeling down right all over the place this week, and I spent most of the week feeling like I was living in some sort of surreal dream.
Despite that though, I did actually manage to get a lot of work done. Not as much as I would have liked, but still, it's cleared up most of my to-do list. I finally got some new chargers for my laptop, so now I can quit worrying about it dying on me and being left with nothing. It also means that I can finally start binge watching The Tudors and Games of Thrones which I managed to get on DVD for stupidly cheap. Yeah, I don't have a TV. The disc drive in my current main laptop doesn't work, my other laptop's charger is broken so the laptop is dead, and my desktop computer doesn't have any sound. I've ended up with all the worst technology over the years, and of course, when I'm dirt poor, they all decide to break on me at once. Ugh.
I'm just glad that at least I have a spare charger now, because the only one I have left is currently dying a slow death as well. A nice short-term solution. I just hope that I can save up enough money to buy a new laptop soon. Why must everything be so expensive? Relying on hand-me-downs has it's upsides, but unfortunately, hand-me-down technology doesn't exactly last long, nor is it the most reliable most of the time - especially since most are from my dad who always buys dodgey stuff.
Monday sure was a busy day of meetings, and that was the moment that I realised that there was no way that I could update my stories on top of everything else this week. I knew that I desperately needed to organise myself. My week wasn't exactly off to the best of starts due to this. I felt super guilty for making you guys wait even longer for updates. But hey, I guess I wasn't exactly sitting around and twiddling my thumbs. I was actually getting some important work done, including some work related to my stories.
Unfortunately though, I wasn't exactly in the best of moods or mindset to be dealing with a lot of stuff this week. Like I've already said, my mental health wasn't the best, and on Monday, the back of my feet got absolutely shredded. Since I've decided to walk pretty much everywhere now, things get tricky when it's raining. I usually don't mind walking in the rain, but my boots are very leaky and on the verge of falling apart, so I borrowed a pair of my mum's boots. While it was nice to have dry feet for once, the back of my feet got torn apart because of how much they were rubbing me. I honestly thought that they would be comfortable, but I guess not.
Going to that meeting was completely pointless as well, since I was in and out within about ten minutes. And all of that couldn't have been sorted through email or phone call because...? I always hate wastes of time like that. However, it did give me plenty of time when I got home to begin working on all of my episode reviews. It was also nice to finally catch up on all of the episodes of Chernobyl as well. That series was just...wow. Normally when watching shows based on historial events, I often end up getting frustrated because of the inaccuracy, but this show was very accurate, so it has my historian stamp of approval.
Tuesday was a pretty slow day and not really much happened. My feet were still sore as hell, but it wasn't really an eventful day. While at work, I was mainly just daydreaming about my stories and coming up with ideas for them. I have so many stories planned for the future that going on mini hiatuses like this drives me crazy. Whenever I come up with a new idea, I always want to publish it immediately. But unless it's a one-shot idea, I usually try not to do that. Thanks to LycoRogue's help, a spark was finally lit in my brain for Afflicted Amour, my one-shot for ChibiRinni. I finally know what I'm doing! Tomorrow afternoon, I'm locking myself in my room and finally getting it written, so expect to see it published Saturday night.
Looking at all my notes when trying to piece Madness Within back together made me realise just how much I have planned for the future. There are literally not enough hours in the day. I wish that I could just write forever and never have to worry about anything else. But unfortunately that's not how the universe works. If you've had a look at my profile recently, then you would have seen this list, but just in case you haven't, here's all of the Miraculous Ladybug fics that I have planned for the future:
Speaking of my stories though, I recieved some more awesome and amazing fanart for Madness Within this week! It always makes me so happy and giddy when I see that I've been tagged in someone's art, and I literally almost cry when I see all of these amazing pieces that people have created based on my story. You guys are all so amazingly talented. If you do decide to make art based on my work, please tag me in it! I wanna show your work off! So here are the beautiful pieces sent to me this week:
I wish that I was as artistically talented as you guys. Please show them some support! They're both on Tumblr, and their accounts are lanelin and lil-fox-prince. I hope that you guys get all of the love and attention that you deserve!
Wednesday ended up being a pretty tough day. I was still really tired from not sleeping properly thanks to my cold which was still in the process of clearing up slightly. When I woke up that morning, I immediately knew that I couldn't be bothered and just wished that I could sleep for a decade. But apparently that's called being in a coma, so probably not the best idea. I had a busy day ahead of me, the back of my feet were still killing me, and even worse, my anxiety was sky high, the highest it had been since I started taking my medication. I felt really out of sorts, like I wasn't quite ill, but I wasn't quite well either. Does that make sense?
My first meeting of the day was pretty okay, but sitting in the waiting room was tough, especially when it started getting really busy and crowded. I nearly ended up having a panic attack, and I was convinced that I was either going to fall asleep or throw up. Luckily my assistant/carer/advisor (I have no idea what she is to me to be honest) finally came to collect me, though at this point it felt more like a rescue.
I then had an hour to kill at home, which ended up being unpleasant since my brother had invited a bunch of friends over. My social anxiety was already sky high, and the thought of having to deal with more people, especially teenage boys, was just more than I could bear. They probably thought that I was weird and rude, but I just ended up locking myself in my room and spent the next hour trying to calm down to no avail. Before I knew it, it was time to leave again. I tried to keep my brain occupied by thinking about and planning my stories, but it didn't really work. My stomach was killing me because of my anxiety, I was really tired and exhausted, and was constantly on the verge of having a panic attack. For some reason I became convinced that I needed a plastic bag with me, and had to keep making sure that I still had it in my handbag.
My next meeting was pretty okay too, apart from the maths and English test that I had to take. That, on top of all of the homework I've been given by my therapist and my assistant thingy, I was beginning to feel like I was back in school. And just like back in school, I'm pretty much leaving it all until the last minute. The queen of procrastination is back. To be fair though, the work is pretty easy, but the idea of having to do any work in my free time set by other people is annoying. I may or may not be lazy when it comes to that sort of thing.
Back at work on Thursday was awesome! I had actually gotten a decent night's sleep and was beginning to feel re-invigorated. I no longer felt like a zombie. Work was really fun that day since my friend and I ended up getting super giddy. The assistant manager also walked in on me randomly crawling around on the floor, and then she walked in on me dancing and singing, so yeah she doesn't seem to be able to look at me with a straight face now. Note to self, never eat a bunch of cookies at work again. They made me hyper as hell. On top of that, my friend has ADHD, and was on a sugar rush too, so we were both practically bouncing off the walls. It was also fun playing with all the puppies that came in. So yesterday was a great boost to my mental health and it felt good to just let loose and have fun for a change as well as just being myself.
My boyfriend and I have also been binge watching Kim Possible, and I had honestly forgotten how much I loved that series. Watching stuff like this helps fill the void in my life while I wait for new Miraculous Ladybug episodes. Especially since I can't seem to find any fanfiction to read. I have no idea why, but nothing seems to be jumping out at me at the moment. Do you guys have recommendations for some love-square fics that I could read?
Today I got another one of those random urges to clean, which was useful, since the house was a dump again. So I pretty much spent all day doing that. I had hoped that it might help spark some ideas for my stories, but nope. Ah well. You win some, you lose some I guess. I took a nice, hot bubble bath afterwards, and I'm feeling pretty chill right now. I'm pretty happy with my progress now, which means I should hopefully be definitely ready to go back to my normal schedule next week.
Fingers crossed!
So yeah, that's pretty much been the overall theme of this week. So much for a relaxing break to re-set myself. But I guess now that I've finally caught up on a few things, it means that maybe finally things can get back to normal next week. Though if things don't work out again, one person suggested to me maybe updating my stories every two weeks or something, just to give myself some extra time and ease the pressure. I'll see how things go before I come to any decision like that, but this week, I certainly did have my hands full.
I always find it really daunting when I know that I have a lot of work to do, and sometimes it can even make me a bit panicky. It probably partly explains why my anxiety has been so bad this week. Then the fact that I was so anxious also put me on a bit of a downer, because I really felt like I had been making progress, but now I feel like I've taken a step backwards. It left me feeling down right all over the place this week, and I spent most of the week feeling like I was living in some sort of surreal dream.
Despite that though, I did actually manage to get a lot of work done. Not as much as I would have liked, but still, it's cleared up most of my to-do list. I finally got some new chargers for my laptop, so now I can quit worrying about it dying on me and being left with nothing. It also means that I can finally start binge watching The Tudors and Games of Thrones which I managed to get on DVD for stupidly cheap. Yeah, I don't have a TV. The disc drive in my current main laptop doesn't work, my other laptop's charger is broken so the laptop is dead, and my desktop computer doesn't have any sound. I've ended up with all the worst technology over the years, and of course, when I'm dirt poor, they all decide to break on me at once. Ugh.
I'm just glad that at least I have a spare charger now, because the only one I have left is currently dying a slow death as well. A nice short-term solution. I just hope that I can save up enough money to buy a new laptop soon. Why must everything be so expensive? Relying on hand-me-downs has it's upsides, but unfortunately, hand-me-down technology doesn't exactly last long, nor is it the most reliable most of the time - especially since most are from my dad who always buys dodgey stuff.
Monday sure was a busy day of meetings, and that was the moment that I realised that there was no way that I could update my stories on top of everything else this week. I knew that I desperately needed to organise myself. My week wasn't exactly off to the best of starts due to this. I felt super guilty for making you guys wait even longer for updates. But hey, I guess I wasn't exactly sitting around and twiddling my thumbs. I was actually getting some important work done, including some work related to my stories.
Unfortunately though, I wasn't exactly in the best of moods or mindset to be dealing with a lot of stuff this week. Like I've already said, my mental health wasn't the best, and on Monday, the back of my feet got absolutely shredded. Since I've decided to walk pretty much everywhere now, things get tricky when it's raining. I usually don't mind walking in the rain, but my boots are very leaky and on the verge of falling apart, so I borrowed a pair of my mum's boots. While it was nice to have dry feet for once, the back of my feet got torn apart because of how much they were rubbing me. I honestly thought that they would be comfortable, but I guess not.
Going to that meeting was completely pointless as well, since I was in and out within about ten minutes. And all of that couldn't have been sorted through email or phone call because...? I always hate wastes of time like that. However, it did give me plenty of time when I got home to begin working on all of my episode reviews. It was also nice to finally catch up on all of the episodes of Chernobyl as well. That series was just...wow. Normally when watching shows based on historial events, I often end up getting frustrated because of the inaccuracy, but this show was very accurate, so it has my historian stamp of approval.
Tuesday was a pretty slow day and not really much happened. My feet were still sore as hell, but it wasn't really an eventful day. While at work, I was mainly just daydreaming about my stories and coming up with ideas for them. I have so many stories planned for the future that going on mini hiatuses like this drives me crazy. Whenever I come up with a new idea, I always want to publish it immediately. But unless it's a one-shot idea, I usually try not to do that. Thanks to LycoRogue's help, a spark was finally lit in my brain for Afflicted Amour, my one-shot for ChibiRinni. I finally know what I'm doing! Tomorrow afternoon, I'm locking myself in my room and finally getting it written, so expect to see it published Saturday night.
Looking at all my notes when trying to piece Madness Within back together made me realise just how much I have planned for the future. There are literally not enough hours in the day. I wish that I could just write forever and never have to worry about anything else. But unfortunately that's not how the universe works. If you've had a look at my profile recently, then you would have seen this list, but just in case you haven't, here's all of the Miraculous Ladybug fics that I have planned for the future:
- Immortal Bond
- Madness Unleashed
- A Cursed Blessing
- Afflicted Amour (one-shot)
- Monsieur Noir
- Child's Play
- Frozen In Place (one-shot)
- Insomniac
Speaking of my stories though, I recieved some more awesome and amazing fanart for Madness Within this week! It always makes me so happy and giddy when I see that I've been tagged in someone's art, and I literally almost cry when I see all of these amazing pieces that people have created based on my story. You guys are all so amazingly talented. If you do decide to make art based on my work, please tag me in it! I wanna show your work off! So here are the beautiful pieces sent to me this week:
 |
| Ladybug's Defeat by lanelin |
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| Marinette's Club Outfit by lil-fox-prince |
Wednesday ended up being a pretty tough day. I was still really tired from not sleeping properly thanks to my cold which was still in the process of clearing up slightly. When I woke up that morning, I immediately knew that I couldn't be bothered and just wished that I could sleep for a decade. But apparently that's called being in a coma, so probably not the best idea. I had a busy day ahead of me, the back of my feet were still killing me, and even worse, my anxiety was sky high, the highest it had been since I started taking my medication. I felt really out of sorts, like I wasn't quite ill, but I wasn't quite well either. Does that make sense?
My first meeting of the day was pretty okay, but sitting in the waiting room was tough, especially when it started getting really busy and crowded. I nearly ended up having a panic attack, and I was convinced that I was either going to fall asleep or throw up. Luckily my assistant/carer/advisor (I have no idea what she is to me to be honest) finally came to collect me, though at this point it felt more like a rescue.
I then had an hour to kill at home, which ended up being unpleasant since my brother had invited a bunch of friends over. My social anxiety was already sky high, and the thought of having to deal with more people, especially teenage boys, was just more than I could bear. They probably thought that I was weird and rude, but I just ended up locking myself in my room and spent the next hour trying to calm down to no avail. Before I knew it, it was time to leave again. I tried to keep my brain occupied by thinking about and planning my stories, but it didn't really work. My stomach was killing me because of my anxiety, I was really tired and exhausted, and was constantly on the verge of having a panic attack. For some reason I became convinced that I needed a plastic bag with me, and had to keep making sure that I still had it in my handbag.
My next meeting was pretty okay too, apart from the maths and English test that I had to take. That, on top of all of the homework I've been given by my therapist and my assistant thingy, I was beginning to feel like I was back in school. And just like back in school, I'm pretty much leaving it all until the last minute. The queen of procrastination is back. To be fair though, the work is pretty easy, but the idea of having to do any work in my free time set by other people is annoying. I may or may not be lazy when it comes to that sort of thing.
Back at work on Thursday was awesome! I had actually gotten a decent night's sleep and was beginning to feel re-invigorated. I no longer felt like a zombie. Work was really fun that day since my friend and I ended up getting super giddy. The assistant manager also walked in on me randomly crawling around on the floor, and then she walked in on me dancing and singing, so yeah she doesn't seem to be able to look at me with a straight face now. Note to self, never eat a bunch of cookies at work again. They made me hyper as hell. On top of that, my friend has ADHD, and was on a sugar rush too, so we were both practically bouncing off the walls. It was also fun playing with all the puppies that came in. So yesterday was a great boost to my mental health and it felt good to just let loose and have fun for a change as well as just being myself.
My boyfriend and I have also been binge watching Kim Possible, and I had honestly forgotten how much I loved that series. Watching stuff like this helps fill the void in my life while I wait for new Miraculous Ladybug episodes. Especially since I can't seem to find any fanfiction to read. I have no idea why, but nothing seems to be jumping out at me at the moment. Do you guys have recommendations for some love-square fics that I could read?
Today I got another one of those random urges to clean, which was useful, since the house was a dump again. So I pretty much spent all day doing that. I had hoped that it might help spark some ideas for my stories, but nope. Ah well. You win some, you lose some I guess. I took a nice, hot bubble bath afterwards, and I'm feeling pretty chill right now. I'm pretty happy with my progress now, which means I should hopefully be definitely ready to go back to my normal schedule next week.
Fingers crossed!
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