Pixie's Chronicle: Thank You!

Wow! I certainly was not expecting that level of support! I nearly started crying when I saw all of the comments sending me well wishes and talking about how much they love my work. I... I really didn't realise just how much my work meant to you all and just how many people actually enjoyed it. It boggles my mind! I can't wrap my head around it. I'm totally speechless... like... oh my god, I don't think I've ever been bombarded with positive comments on this level, and I don't know what to do with myself and I don't know what to say. But I guess this is a good place to start: thank you!

I don't think I've ever felt more loved. I just wish that I could thank you all individually, but I received that many comments that I couldn't keep up with them all. It really helps remind me that despite all of the bullying I've been experiencing lately, the majority of you are still the most wonderful people in the world. It's just a shame that negativity always sticks out more and spoils everything. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!

I'm being smothered by support right now, and it really means the world to me. I have the best boyfriend in the world, Jowy Avilon, helping me out and helping me through my difficult personal life. I have LycoRogue, ChibiRinni and TLOS21 who are always there for me too, as well as a bunch of complete strangers on the internet who have come forward to send me messages of support. It makes me feel incredibly lucky and humbled at the same time. It gives me that huge boost I need on the road to getting better and recovering from all of this. 

So yeah, to say I have been shocked by how amazing a lot of you have been would be the understatement of the century. Yesterday I really was the lowest that I have felt in a long time. But Jowy has really been helping by coaching me through the whole thing. Seriously, he could be a life coach or something. I've been feeling so much better today due to his reassurance. I have a really bad habit of bottling everyting up, and I feel awful that he's always there when the inevitable explosion occurs, but at the same time, I'm glad that he is. I don't know where I would be today without him. So, to Jowy, I love you so much and you are the best boyfriend in the world! I'm sorry I'm such a pain in the ass, and thank you for putting up with me and being there for me. You're the best!

Of course LycoRogue came to my rescue as well. She has such a comforting presence, it's unreal. She's so genuine and always has a way of reassuring people and making them feel better. I look up to her so much and she's almost like a big sister to me at this point. Not to mention her stories always cheer me up as well. Seriously, if ever you need some time-out from the world, do check out her work. She's super talented and her stories are a great source of escapism. There's always something so charming about her fics and they're incredibly unique. She's also just a geniunely wonderful person who deserves all of the love in the world. 

I very much view ChibiRinni as an older sister figure too. We're always sending paragraph after paragraph to each other on Facebook and we always have amazing discussions about life, the universe and everything. She's so sweet, and I'll never forget how intimidated I was when I first messaged her to thank her for her review. It makes me wonder if I ever make other people excited when I respond to them, because I know from personal experience how awesome it is when a favourite writer or reader of yours replies back. Inkyrable has referred to me numerous times as her senpai which always makes me laugh. If anything, you guys are my senpais. 

TLOS21 is definitely one of my oldest friends from this site and we're thick as theives at this point. Even though I view her as like a younger sister, she very much mothers me which is always funny. She especially makes me laugh when she thinks I'm speaking in another language when it's just my regional dialect - and when she's asking me if things like ketchup exist in the UK. I'm starting to wonder if Americans view the rest of the world as savages lol. I've been asked all sorts by Americans. I've been asked if we have chilli, toilet paper, public restrooms, pizza and many more lol. 

I feel so very very very loved and I want to squish you guys into one huge hug! 

My week obviously hadn't gotten off to the very best of starts thanks to the whole Madness Within incident, but things have managed to pick up now at least. For days I was a depressed mess due to my feelings of inadequacy and confusion as to where the hell I was going with my life. The latter still hasn't exactly been solved, but I guess I'll just do what I've always done and go with the flow. 

I've already made a start on other projects to keep my mind occupied. I've published a Hellsing fanfic, and like LycoRogue said, that universe is so up my alley and I have no idea why it took me so long to write a story for it. I can be totally and completely unrestrained because, well, because it's Hellsing lol! It will help me stretch my writing wings and provide me with a challenge since I'm writing from a monster's point of view on the world. Plus I get to play around with Alucard and Seras who I have always shipped since I first got into the series. I know some people see them as having more of a familial relationship, and honestly, I get that and see it. I ship them both plantonically and romantically. So this is something I'm going to play around with. The creator himself admitted that they love each other, just that it's 'complicated'. Well complicated is my middle name when it comes to fanfiction plots and themes! Sign me up for the challenge!

So yeah, if that's your thing, then you can read that story by clicking here. Though I do need to warn you that this a more graphic than everything I have ever written. There's trigger warnings for practically everything so if you're under 18, please don't read. I'm not exaggerating when I say it's that bad. 

Due to stress, I haven't exactly been feeling one hundred percent this week, not helped by the fact that I think I ate something dodgy the other day. It always happened to be on the days I was in work as well which sucked. I'm constantly being put on delivery duty now which is really starting to annoy me. I understand their reasoning, but delivery is always the manager's job. But she can't be bothered to get up early and do it. So I've been quietly seething over that. Especially since the delivery driver keeps shouting at me for getting stuff wrong because I'm not trained for that stuff. Oy vey. 

To make matters worse, my manager is constantly locked away in her office doing training, so guess who's left to run the shop on her own all day? If you guessed me then give yourself a gold star. It was especially infuriating yesterday since we were busy. I literally had customers fighting over me. I'd be trying to help one person who wanted advice on protein while someone else was tapping my shoulder and asking for help with yeast infections. I ended up collapsing as soon as I got home. I physically did not have enough hands. I'm bad at multi-tasking as it is without having a thousand more things to do piled on top of that. 

Luckily, Jowy gave me some much needed therapy sessions today and I'm feeling much better as a result. I haven't been able to sleep all that well lately which hasn't helped. Plus my dog is ill again, so I'm terrified for her. She ended up collapsing the other day so we rushed her into the vets and they found that her liver was acting up again. Not only that, but they think they've found growths on her liver as well. Yeah. So that upset me a great deal. I'm just hoping and praying that it's not something serious and is something that's treatable. I've had to deal with so much death this year that I think I'm actually traumatized from it all. I think everyone is this year to be fair. Anyway, we should hopefully have her test results back on Monday. 

Also, do you remember my regional manager who I sassed in front of the entire company? Yeah, she came to pay us a visit on Tuesday. Yaaay! It went about as well as you could imagine.

I was working alone that morning when she knocked on the door. I originally didn't recognise her since she's never bothered to acknowledge me or introduce herself to me, so I thought she was a customer. Then she flashed me her badge and I promptly crapped myself. She didn't know who I was and was confused to see me there (since delivery is the manager's job), so she asked my name. As soon as I said it, you could have cut through the atmosphere with a knife. 

To make matters worse, I ended up awkwardly saying 'yeah, the email girl'. Ugh, why did I have to do that? It made it look like I was rubbing it in her face. She just simply glared at me before telling me 'not to do anything like that ever again.' She then went back to ignoring me which suited me just fine at that point. However, it did mean I had to be on my best behaviour for the rest of my shift. I normally like to goof off a lot at work, but our regional manager clearly can't take a joke like our previous one could. I hate it when it's all work and no play. Nothing too ridiculous obviously, but there's nothing wrong with having harmless fun with colleagues and customers. 

This week I've also been messing around with my blog as you may have noticed. I'm trying to organise it a bit better, so I'm sorry if stuff keeps moving around. I'm still in the process of experimenting. I've included a new news segment which you can see above so you can quickly have a look there if you need a quick update on something important, rather than waiting for a Pixie's Chronicle every week which I may or may not write depending on what's going on. I've also got an 'About Me' section to allow you to get to know me a bit better. I hope that you guys like the new look that I'm going with.

So yeah, this week has been one huge roller coaster. I don't know if I would have made it through without Jowy, LycoRogue, ChibiRinni, TLOS21 and all of the rest of you guys sending me your support. I especially would have been carted off by the men in white coats if it wasn't for my boyfriend. I just hope that you all know how much I appreciate everything that you do for me. I feel like I'm not very good at expressing gratitude, but I really do mean it. You guys are the best!

THANK YOU! 

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING SO AMAZING!!!