So February didn't turn out to be the productive month I was hoping for. Thanks mainly to my job. But hey, at least I did get some updating done for some of my stories. I had also been hoping for a productive week this week since I had the week off work, but I've just been feeling super lazy. I ended up just admitting to myself that I needed a week off from everything, not just work. I didn't release a Pixie's Chronicle last week because I honestly had nothing to report.
So yeah, overall, things have been really slow lately, and I'm really sorry about that. My body was more worn out than I realised, so I needed to de-stress and focus on some of my more relaxing hobbies this week. Especially since I'd been under so much pressure the past two weeks. If you read the last blog entry, then you'll know all too well the sheer amount of stuff that went wrong for me. Luckily things have calmed down for now, and here's hoping that I won't have to cover the manager's position like that again for a while.
My relaxation more or less started when my manager finally returned. She couldn't believe all of the stuff that we had to deal with and she couldn't apologise enough. It wasn't her fault though. It was just bad luck. She couldn't control it and was entitled to some time off. She bought us all some cakes which was really nice of her. I do love having bosses that feed me. Literally every single one of my bosses so far have been like that. Who am I to say no to free food? I sound like such a pig. Which I am. But food is so delicious!
Anyway, where was I?
My last few days at work last week were pretty average, thank goodness. Nothing major really happened which made a huge change. I was super excited to start my week off! I bloody needed it after everything that had happened, so I was lucky to have booked it when I did. I don't know if I would have been able to face another week at work without some sort of rest to recover from all of the disasters that occurred.
Sneaking in some retail therapy helped a lot as well. I'm not normally one for retail therapy, since I hate shopping and I always feel guilty for spending money and treating myself for some reason. I have no idea why. But I really went all out this time. It had been a while since I had been shopping, and there were quite a few things that I had my eye on. I decided to invite my mum along since all of my friends would be working, and it had been a while since we had spent some proper time together. I thought it would be nice to treat her to some lunch as well.
The shopping trip was nice, but I did end up getting anxious and overwelmed like normal, so there were a couple of times where I needed to take some time out. I was supposed to be mainly shopping for clothes, but hey, I couldn't resist visiting the Disney Store as well as my favourite store of all time, Menkind. I think those stores right there demonstrate that I have the mental age of a ten-year-old. Curse my strange obsession for collecting lamps. And by lamps, I mean the cool kind like lava lamps, disco balls and video game themed lamps etc. It's been a weird hobby of mine for years. If you want to know just how bad my problem is with lamps, I currently have ten lamps in my room. Nobody needs that many lamps. It's a hobby that raises a few eyebrows, but I like them. Coincidentally, my first word as a baby was apparently "light", so maybe that was foreshadowing.
I also finally bought a Nintendo Switch! And by that I mean I borrowed my mum's credit card. There was no way I would be able to save up enough money in time to get one before the release of Animal Crossing: New Horizons, so I said I would pay her back. I refuse to miss out on the release of that game! Animal Crossing is my life! It's one of my favourite video game series, and I'm sick of missing out on the launch of my favourite games because I'm always a console generation behind. I'm super excited for that game! The trailers have me foaming at the mouth because of all of the new features. You can finally choose where residents live! Yaaaay! No more cool areas and rare flowers and fruit being destroyed because of them! I'm such a dork...
So yeah, my bank account has been screaming at me. But I hardly ever treat myself, so it can scream at me all it wants for now. The only game I have for now is Sonic Mania, because of course, that would have to be the first game I bought for it. Sonic the Hedgehog is only my most favourite franchise of all time next to Miraculous Ladybug and W.I.T.C.H. That blue hedgehog has gotten me through some really tough times, and the series will always hold a special place in my heart because of that.
Speaking of tough times, my mental health unfortunately took a huge dip this week. Yeah, despite treating myself to some awesome things, my depression had other ideas for me. I have no clue what happened. I'd been doing so well. But this week I've been feeling lower than I have felt in a long time.
It probably didn't help that I had my first round of proper psychological help this past week. Going over a lot of stuff proved to be a lot tougher than I thought it was going to be. Voicing it all out loud just makes me realise how messed up some situations I've been in were. My therapist did say something I'd never thought about before though. She told me it sounded like I've never really had anyone fighting my corner; that I've always had to emotionally look after myself; no one has ever stuck up for me and I've always been pretty much left to fend for myself. It was a huge eye opening moment. She was right! Looking back, no one ever stuck up for me, tried to help or was there for me in the way that they should have been.
I was like, "whhhooooaaaaa, it all makes so much sense now!" It certainly explains my trust issues, issues with family and authority figures, why I have so much trouble expressing and showing emotion, and basically why I've become hardened to so many things. I think my dark sense of humour during the session really highlighted that. I must look crazy when I say stuff like "oh yeah, I've been abused a lot throughout my life, lol, we've all been there, right?" But it's how I cope. I make a joke out of everything.
Anyway, enough of that. Ew depression. It sucks yadda yadda yadda.
I've been feeling a bit all over the place for the past few days, but I am getting better. It definitely helped that I started taking my medication properly again and that I kept trying to keep myself busy with my games and jigsaw puzzles. If you suffer from anxiety or depression, I swear, try doing a jigsaw puzzle! It soothes the mind so much and it's definitely helped me during this rough period.
Writing wise, I haven't gotten anything done this week, unless you count daydreaming. But you know what, I really needed that break, because now I'm feeling more ready to tackle writing again, especially the monster chapters of Madness Within. I can't believe I'm nearly at 1000 reviews for that story! The last chapter alone received 81 reviews! That's insane! I really can't thank you guys enough! You've all been so kind to me lately, and I've been receiving lovely reviews off people that really help inspire me to keep going.
I also received a lovely message off shoryubug on Tumblr that nearly made me cry. Needless to say, she is an amazing human being, and a fanfic writer herself, so please go forth and show her some love.
I also still have a bunch of stuff I need to catch up on! LycoRogue, I know you say there's no rush, but I am so desperate to read your stuff! I will hopefully be doing that this week at long last! She's also recommended some fics that sound interesting on her blog, and you can click here to read that if you're looking for some more stuff to read. I know that I am, and I'll definitely be having a nosey at a few of them.
Now that I'm feeling well-rested, I should be getting back into writing this week. At the moment, it's looking like I'll be updating Madness Within on Wednesday, and Chat Vert on Friday. I'll also be trying to be more consistant with my blog. This means that Pixie's Chronicle will now be released on Saturday from next week. I think that's one of the main reasons I've been struggling to get stuff out for Miraculous Monday. I'm currently working on my reviews for the last few episodes of season three, as well as some other projects, including playlists for my stories.
So yeah, stay tuned for all of that!
So yeah, overall, things have been really slow lately, and I'm really sorry about that. My body was more worn out than I realised, so I needed to de-stress and focus on some of my more relaxing hobbies this week. Especially since I'd been under so much pressure the past two weeks. If you read the last blog entry, then you'll know all too well the sheer amount of stuff that went wrong for me. Luckily things have calmed down for now, and here's hoping that I won't have to cover the manager's position like that again for a while.
My relaxation more or less started when my manager finally returned. She couldn't believe all of the stuff that we had to deal with and she couldn't apologise enough. It wasn't her fault though. It was just bad luck. She couldn't control it and was entitled to some time off. She bought us all some cakes which was really nice of her. I do love having bosses that feed me. Literally every single one of my bosses so far have been like that. Who am I to say no to free food? I sound like such a pig. Which I am. But food is so delicious!
Anyway, where was I?
My last few days at work last week were pretty average, thank goodness. Nothing major really happened which made a huge change. I was super excited to start my week off! I bloody needed it after everything that had happened, so I was lucky to have booked it when I did. I don't know if I would have been able to face another week at work without some sort of rest to recover from all of the disasters that occurred.
Sneaking in some retail therapy helped a lot as well. I'm not normally one for retail therapy, since I hate shopping and I always feel guilty for spending money and treating myself for some reason. I have no idea why. But I really went all out this time. It had been a while since I had been shopping, and there were quite a few things that I had my eye on. I decided to invite my mum along since all of my friends would be working, and it had been a while since we had spent some proper time together. I thought it would be nice to treat her to some lunch as well.
The shopping trip was nice, but I did end up getting anxious and overwelmed like normal, so there were a couple of times where I needed to take some time out. I was supposed to be mainly shopping for clothes, but hey, I couldn't resist visiting the Disney Store as well as my favourite store of all time, Menkind. I think those stores right there demonstrate that I have the mental age of a ten-year-old. Curse my strange obsession for collecting lamps. And by lamps, I mean the cool kind like lava lamps, disco balls and video game themed lamps etc. It's been a weird hobby of mine for years. If you want to know just how bad my problem is with lamps, I currently have ten lamps in my room. Nobody needs that many lamps. It's a hobby that raises a few eyebrows, but I like them. Coincidentally, my first word as a baby was apparently "light", so maybe that was foreshadowing.
I also finally bought a Nintendo Switch! And by that I mean I borrowed my mum's credit card. There was no way I would be able to save up enough money in time to get one before the release of Animal Crossing: New Horizons, so I said I would pay her back. I refuse to miss out on the release of that game! Animal Crossing is my life! It's one of my favourite video game series, and I'm sick of missing out on the launch of my favourite games because I'm always a console generation behind. I'm super excited for that game! The trailers have me foaming at the mouth because of all of the new features. You can finally choose where residents live! Yaaaay! No more cool areas and rare flowers and fruit being destroyed because of them! I'm such a dork...
So yeah, my bank account has been screaming at me. But I hardly ever treat myself, so it can scream at me all it wants for now. The only game I have for now is Sonic Mania, because of course, that would have to be the first game I bought for it. Sonic the Hedgehog is only my most favourite franchise of all time next to Miraculous Ladybug and W.I.T.C.H. That blue hedgehog has gotten me through some really tough times, and the series will always hold a special place in my heart because of that.
Speaking of tough times, my mental health unfortunately took a huge dip this week. Yeah, despite treating myself to some awesome things, my depression had other ideas for me. I have no clue what happened. I'd been doing so well. But this week I've been feeling lower than I have felt in a long time.
It probably didn't help that I had my first round of proper psychological help this past week. Going over a lot of stuff proved to be a lot tougher than I thought it was going to be. Voicing it all out loud just makes me realise how messed up some situations I've been in were. My therapist did say something I'd never thought about before though. She told me it sounded like I've never really had anyone fighting my corner; that I've always had to emotionally look after myself; no one has ever stuck up for me and I've always been pretty much left to fend for myself. It was a huge eye opening moment. She was right! Looking back, no one ever stuck up for me, tried to help or was there for me in the way that they should have been.
I was like, "whhhooooaaaaa, it all makes so much sense now!" It certainly explains my trust issues, issues with family and authority figures, why I have so much trouble expressing and showing emotion, and basically why I've become hardened to so many things. I think my dark sense of humour during the session really highlighted that. I must look crazy when I say stuff like "oh yeah, I've been abused a lot throughout my life, lol, we've all been there, right?" But it's how I cope. I make a joke out of everything.
Anyway, enough of that. Ew depression. It sucks yadda yadda yadda.
I've been feeling a bit all over the place for the past few days, but I am getting better. It definitely helped that I started taking my medication properly again and that I kept trying to keep myself busy with my games and jigsaw puzzles. If you suffer from anxiety or depression, I swear, try doing a jigsaw puzzle! It soothes the mind so much and it's definitely helped me during this rough period.
Writing wise, I haven't gotten anything done this week, unless you count daydreaming. But you know what, I really needed that break, because now I'm feeling more ready to tackle writing again, especially the monster chapters of Madness Within. I can't believe I'm nearly at 1000 reviews for that story! The last chapter alone received 81 reviews! That's insane! I really can't thank you guys enough! You've all been so kind to me lately, and I've been receiving lovely reviews off people that really help inspire me to keep going.
I also received a lovely message off shoryubug on Tumblr that nearly made me cry. Needless to say, she is an amazing human being, and a fanfic writer herself, so please go forth and show her some love.
I also still have a bunch of stuff I need to catch up on! LycoRogue, I know you say there's no rush, but I am so desperate to read your stuff! I will hopefully be doing that this week at long last! She's also recommended some fics that sound interesting on her blog, and you can click here to read that if you're looking for some more stuff to read. I know that I am, and I'll definitely be having a nosey at a few of them.
Now that I'm feeling well-rested, I should be getting back into writing this week. At the moment, it's looking like I'll be updating Madness Within on Wednesday, and Chat Vert on Friday. I'll also be trying to be more consistant with my blog. This means that Pixie's Chronicle will now be released on Saturday from next week. I think that's one of the main reasons I've been struggling to get stuff out for Miraculous Monday. I'm currently working on my reviews for the last few episodes of season three, as well as some other projects, including playlists for my stories.
So yeah, stay tuned for all of that!
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