It would be typical that during my week off work when I can catch up on sleep, and need the rest to get plenty of writing done, that my body would decide to give me insomnia for the week. It pretty much ended up ruining most of my plans for this week. I had wanted to be super productive and get so much work done, but as you can tell, that didn't exactly happen. I got some work done at least, I suppose something is better than nothing, but still it was nowhere near as much as I would have liked. It really is like my body conspires against me.
So yeah, I've been super tired and like a zombie for most of the week. For some reason, I just could not get to sleep, and then when I finally did, I'd wake up an hour later and the cycle would then begin again. I need my sleep! Even the supplements I've been using didn't help, as they can do nothing for the mental exhaustion and subsequent brain glitches because I haven't been getting enough decent sleep. I've been super grumpy and literally had no energy as a result. So yeah, that's pretty much been the gist of my week.
Things started out pretty good on Monday. I finally finished and released my review of Ikari Gozen, which you can read by clicking here if you haven't already. I also managed to continue my trend of updating Madness Within on AO3 every Monday, so you can read chapter 23 of that story on that website by clicking here. I also managed to get the cleaned up version of the chapter uploaded to FanFiction as well, so hopefully it will now be less painful for your eyes. So overall, Monday had been the productive day that I had been hoping for, as well as getting to have some relaxing time chilling with my boyfriend, playing games and catching up on some TV shows. Speaking of which, if you guys haven't been watching His Dark Materials, then I highly recommend it!
Tuesday ended up being a pretty productive day too since I'd finally managed to completel chapter 11 of Chat Vert - after, like, two months. Yeesh. So yeah, if you haven't already, you can read the latest chapter of that story by clicking here. It was great to see that I still had an audience, despite how long my updates have been taking lately. Stupid real life. That chapter was so much fun to write, mainly just because I love Luka so much, and I love writing cute and fluffy moments. Though you wouldn't think that with how dark my stories can get sometimes. I dunno, that just always seems to be the theme that I gravitate towards. So yeah, switching to cuteness and fluff in Chat Vert can be a bit jarring sometimes, lol. I still can't believe that story has been published for nearly a year and I'm only on chapter 11. Ugh, I really need to get things sorted. That story should have been finished months ago.
Wednesday was the day that my insomnia really started affecting me. I couldn't get out of bed, yet I couldn't get to sleep either. I couldn't do anything productive at all because my brain just kept switching off and couldn't function properly. I don't know what's been causing this period of insomnia, but it needs to knock it off. It did give me some nice chill time, but I wanted to actually do some work dammit! The motivation was there, but the energy wasn't. I don't think it helped that I've been so over excited about the new Miraculous Ladybug episodes this week. It kicked my mind into high gear, and as a result, my mind wouldn't shut up during the night. I tried everything: meditation, soothing music, making sure I relax before bed etc. But nothing worked.
On Thursday I had really wanted to do some more volunteer work, but that didn't end up happening since yet again I had barely gotten any sleep the night before. In fact, that night was worse since I started randomly feeling nauseous, and I have no idea why. It was probably my anxiety, as that's also been playing up this week. It mainly started after I had spent a whole day writing notes for work without realsing what damage I was doing to my hand as a result. I'm quite a violent writer, if that makes sense? I press really hard with the pen or pencil, so I didn't do myself any favours. So yeah, stupid me actually ended up damaging the nerves in my finger!
I couldn't believe it. The tip of my finger had almost gone completely numb and it was practially rendered useless. I panicked, wondering if I had done any permanent damage, but Dr Google and my boyfriend told me that it should get back to normal within a few days. But still, I was super anxious over it. It didn't help that numbness and tingling in my fingers is often a symptom of my panic/anxiety attacks, so it kept tricking my brain into thinking that I was having an attack, so then I would actually have one. Ugh, it was awful. But luckily, my finger is almost back to normal now. I've got most of the feeling back, but it's still a bit tingly sometimes, especially when I apply pressure to it. I probably won't learn my lesson though. I never do.
I tried to power through and get the next chapter of Madness Within written on Friday, but my tiredness was just getting to me so badly. I think all I managed was about 500 words before my brain just noped out of there and completely blue screened on me. I had hoped it might wake back up later, but it never did. So it ended up being another lazy day. The same thing happened on Saturday as well, though I did actually manage to get more work done than I did over the previous days. I got a head start on this blog entry for starters, and I managed to get some more of my reviews written up so that I hopefully won't fall behind with them again.
Unfortunately today, it was time to go back to work. Luckily my shift wasn't that long, but work is usually super boring on Sundays, so it felt like it lasted for an eternity. I'm back to more manager training this week which is likely going to exhaust me. But at least that should hopefully cure my insomnia. I hope anyway. It's annoying, because my anti-depressants mean that I can't take any sleeping medication or any stuff to help me sleep in general. The best I could probably do is chamomile tea or something, but if you guys have any suggestions, then feel free to let me know.
But since I'm not scheduled to work tomorrow, I'm hoping that I can use that day to get as much work done as possible. My review of the episode Startrain should be posted on my blog, and chapter 24 of Madness Within will hopefully be edited and uploaded to AO3. I'm also hoping to finally finish chapter 38 of Madness Within and get that released onto FanFiction, but we'll see. I might end up swapping it out for Immortal Bonds, but I guess it just depends on how much time I have and what kind of mood I'm in. Regardless though, Immortal Bonds and Madness Within should be updated within the next couple of days. I should also be keeping to my usual schedule on AO3 as well.
So yeah, that's really all I have to report for this week. I suppose some work is better than none, and I keep chastising LycoRogue for feeling guilty over not getting as much work done as she would like, so I suppose I should just listen to my own advice for once. We've even taken to calling each other pot and kettle at this point. I just hope that I have better luck (and better sleep!) than I have done this week. I feel like a failure, but I do keep trying to concentrate on the positives. It all depends on the gods of sleep! Morpheus, you owe me!
So yeah, I've been super tired and like a zombie for most of the week. For some reason, I just could not get to sleep, and then when I finally did, I'd wake up an hour later and the cycle would then begin again. I need my sleep! Even the supplements I've been using didn't help, as they can do nothing for the mental exhaustion and subsequent brain glitches because I haven't been getting enough decent sleep. I've been super grumpy and literally had no energy as a result. So yeah, that's pretty much been the gist of my week.
Things started out pretty good on Monday. I finally finished and released my review of Ikari Gozen, which you can read by clicking here if you haven't already. I also managed to continue my trend of updating Madness Within on AO3 every Monday, so you can read chapter 23 of that story on that website by clicking here. I also managed to get the cleaned up version of the chapter uploaded to FanFiction as well, so hopefully it will now be less painful for your eyes. So overall, Monday had been the productive day that I had been hoping for, as well as getting to have some relaxing time chilling with my boyfriend, playing games and catching up on some TV shows. Speaking of which, if you guys haven't been watching His Dark Materials, then I highly recommend it!
Tuesday ended up being a pretty productive day too since I'd finally managed to completel chapter 11 of Chat Vert - after, like, two months. Yeesh. So yeah, if you haven't already, you can read the latest chapter of that story by clicking here. It was great to see that I still had an audience, despite how long my updates have been taking lately. Stupid real life. That chapter was so much fun to write, mainly just because I love Luka so much, and I love writing cute and fluffy moments. Though you wouldn't think that with how dark my stories can get sometimes. I dunno, that just always seems to be the theme that I gravitate towards. So yeah, switching to cuteness and fluff in Chat Vert can be a bit jarring sometimes, lol. I still can't believe that story has been published for nearly a year and I'm only on chapter 11. Ugh, I really need to get things sorted. That story should have been finished months ago.
Wednesday was the day that my insomnia really started affecting me. I couldn't get out of bed, yet I couldn't get to sleep either. I couldn't do anything productive at all because my brain just kept switching off and couldn't function properly. I don't know what's been causing this period of insomnia, but it needs to knock it off. It did give me some nice chill time, but I wanted to actually do some work dammit! The motivation was there, but the energy wasn't. I don't think it helped that I've been so over excited about the new Miraculous Ladybug episodes this week. It kicked my mind into high gear, and as a result, my mind wouldn't shut up during the night. I tried everything: meditation, soothing music, making sure I relax before bed etc. But nothing worked.
On Thursday I had really wanted to do some more volunteer work, but that didn't end up happening since yet again I had barely gotten any sleep the night before. In fact, that night was worse since I started randomly feeling nauseous, and I have no idea why. It was probably my anxiety, as that's also been playing up this week. It mainly started after I had spent a whole day writing notes for work without realsing what damage I was doing to my hand as a result. I'm quite a violent writer, if that makes sense? I press really hard with the pen or pencil, so I didn't do myself any favours. So yeah, stupid me actually ended up damaging the nerves in my finger!
I couldn't believe it. The tip of my finger had almost gone completely numb and it was practially rendered useless. I panicked, wondering if I had done any permanent damage, but Dr Google and my boyfriend told me that it should get back to normal within a few days. But still, I was super anxious over it. It didn't help that numbness and tingling in my fingers is often a symptom of my panic/anxiety attacks, so it kept tricking my brain into thinking that I was having an attack, so then I would actually have one. Ugh, it was awful. But luckily, my finger is almost back to normal now. I've got most of the feeling back, but it's still a bit tingly sometimes, especially when I apply pressure to it. I probably won't learn my lesson though. I never do.
I tried to power through and get the next chapter of Madness Within written on Friday, but my tiredness was just getting to me so badly. I think all I managed was about 500 words before my brain just noped out of there and completely blue screened on me. I had hoped it might wake back up later, but it never did. So it ended up being another lazy day. The same thing happened on Saturday as well, though I did actually manage to get more work done than I did over the previous days. I got a head start on this blog entry for starters, and I managed to get some more of my reviews written up so that I hopefully won't fall behind with them again.
Unfortunately today, it was time to go back to work. Luckily my shift wasn't that long, but work is usually super boring on Sundays, so it felt like it lasted for an eternity. I'm back to more manager training this week which is likely going to exhaust me. But at least that should hopefully cure my insomnia. I hope anyway. It's annoying, because my anti-depressants mean that I can't take any sleeping medication or any stuff to help me sleep in general. The best I could probably do is chamomile tea or something, but if you guys have any suggestions, then feel free to let me know.
But since I'm not scheduled to work tomorrow, I'm hoping that I can use that day to get as much work done as possible. My review of the episode Startrain should be posted on my blog, and chapter 24 of Madness Within will hopefully be edited and uploaded to AO3. I'm also hoping to finally finish chapter 38 of Madness Within and get that released onto FanFiction, but we'll see. I might end up swapping it out for Immortal Bonds, but I guess it just depends on how much time I have and what kind of mood I'm in. Regardless though, Immortal Bonds and Madness Within should be updated within the next couple of days. I should also be keeping to my usual schedule on AO3 as well.
So yeah, that's really all I have to report for this week. I suppose some work is better than none, and I keep chastising LycoRogue for feeling guilty over not getting as much work done as she would like, so I suppose I should just listen to my own advice for once. We've even taken to calling each other pot and kettle at this point. I just hope that I have better luck (and better sleep!) than I have done this week. I feel like a failure, but I do keep trying to concentrate on the positives. It all depends on the gods of sleep! Morpheus, you owe me!
Comments
Post a Comment