I'm really sorry that this blog post is two days late...and that I haven't been updating my stories lately. I've just had so much going on these past two weeks that I honestly often couldn't bring myself to face doing any writing. It's been a bit weird, and almost like I creatively shut down. But thankfully I can now feel myself slowly coming out of my mess that I seemed to have found myself in this week.
Overall, I'd say this has been a week of extremes. Extreme highs and extreme lows. It seemed like there wasn't really anything in between, so it's left me emotionally exhausted. I also feel like I've got whiplash due to how quickly I would be going from happy to depressed and then depressed to happy. So yeah, it's no wonder I haven't really been able to get any writing done, and although it couldn't be helped, I still am sorry. This blog post should hopefully kind of explain what's been going on and why things have been so crazy and stressful for me.
Firstly, I'm going to get one of the more obvious points of this week out of the way by sending all of my best wishes to my American readers who celebrated 4th July on Thursday. I hope that you traitors all had fun! Hahaha, I'm joking. As someone who is incredibly against colonialism, you party on, guys! I just hope that none of you had any firework related injuries and that the weather was kind to you. I know one year when I was in America for 4th July, my boyfriend and I got soaked. But hey, at least the fireworks were awesome. I don't think I've ever seen such an amazing display.
Okay, back to the Saturday after my previous blog post. I had hoped that would be a writing day, but it was just way too hot for me to focus that day. I don't cope well in heat at the best of times, but when the temperature is like ten times hotter than average, I promptly die. I pretty much ended up melting into a gooey mess on all of the furniture. That, and I actually decided to sit outside to get some vitimin D for once and work on a jigsaw puzzle - something I have become weirdly obsessed with lately. It's been really helping my depression and anxiety by distracting my mind.
Sunday I already knew that I wouldn't be able to get any work done since I was visiting my best friend as it was her birthday last week. Travelling to her house is always such a nightmare though as I have to get a bus into the next valley and then climb up a huge hill because she literally lives in the middle of nowhere. Only this time, I had gotten about a quarter of the way up the hill when my friend then decided to text me and say she would meet me at the bottom as she needed to visit the store. Yeah, I ended up strangling her for that. I love her to death and she's like a sister to me, but my god she can be a pain in the neck sometimes. At least it gives me a lot of power over her though, as whenever she's annoying me or chewing me out over a situation that I've gotten myself into, I can just bring up 'the crystal incident' and she soon shuts up. Yeah, she still owes me after that incident.
After strangling her, I quickly forgave her since she bought me an oreo ice-cream sandwich, which by the way is one of the most delciously orgasmic things I have ever tasted. It was like I had died and gone to oreo heaven. I already know what my boyfriend is going to say to me upon reading this, so I'll save myself some time by saying shut up Jowy Avilon! Don't even think about teasing me about my embarrassing oreo incident!
Anyway, Sunday was definitely a fun day and was one of the highs of my week. I always love getting to see my best friend as we don't really get to see each other that often anymore. But when we get back together it's like we've never been apart. Although putting us together often leads to disaster since our combined stupidness is a force to be reckoned with. Our plan was to order take-out, but it wasn't until later in the afternoon that we realised that no one delivers to where my friend lives since, y'know, she lives in the middle of nowhere. So we ended up having to go back to my place. Apparently we didn't think our plans for that day through very well. But hey, it was a fun adventure.
Monday was another high day. I had woke up a little on the anxious side, especially since I knew that I would have to end up making an important phone call. My assistant was putting a little bit too much pressure on me for my liking to face my fear of phones and call up the place I had my interview on Friday. Turns out, I didn't need to, as no sooner as I was preparing myself to make the call, they called me. And...I GOT THE JOB! Like...what?! AHHHHHHHH!
I was in denial for most of the day, especially since I'm now suspicious of any and all good news that I get. I often wonder how I'm going to mess things up and ruin everything. So I was a huge mixture of happiness and anxiety. It left me wandering around in a daze.
My new job isn't exactly a career I ever saw myself going into either. I never thought that I would work in health, but hey, guess I am now. I just kind of go with the flow sometimes and follow whatever path life seems to take me down. It sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun, and the training looks really exciting. It definitely has me feeling a bit more secure now so yaaaaay!
Despite the excitement of that, I actually managed to get my review of Timetagger uploaded on time, which you can read by clicking here. I didn't have time to work on Chat Vert though, but at that point I was feeling pretty confident that I could get everything updated this week. Unfortunately, little did I know then how much things would go down hill. But I suppose I should have seen it coming. I know the universe never lets me be that happy and confident without some sort of catch.
Not really much happened on Tuesday. Work was fun, and then I had to head into my new job to sign some paperwork and all that jazz. It's so awesome having jobs that are so close to where I live, because it means that I can literally roll out of bed and then I'm there. Plus, it will allow me plenty of writing time which was something that worried me about possibly getting a job in the city. But I've found something much closer to home, which is further bonus points. However, after the visit, I ended up stubbing my toe really badly to a point where I was actually worried that I'd hammered my nail into my toe. I hadn't, but there was still a load of blood, so that was fun and agonising.
I had planned for Wednesday to be a really productive day, however, it ended up being a kind of productive that I wasn't intending. Originally, I had planned to give the house a quick clean and then get on with some writing, but that quick clean turned into a huge sort out, especially in my bedroom. I am such a bad hoarder of old junk. I even found a cinema ticket from 2012 at the bottom of my underwear drawer. Just...what? Why did I still have that thing, and, more importantly, what was it doing in that drawer of all places? This epic cleaning project ended up taking all day, eating into any writing time that I had which was annoying, but on the plus side, all of my story notes are organised now, so I guess it wasn't a total loss.
Thursday was the day that everything went dramatically downhill. The day started off great, apart from the fact that I think I may have accidentally offended one of the assistant managers by laughing during an inappropriate situation. Ugh, I'm always doing stuff like that. Humour is my main coping mechanism, but I often end up forgetting that this is not the case for everyone. Some people just always take things seriously, and an incident I may find funny, they might not. I don't quite understand people who always take things seriously, but hey, to each their own, and it doesn't mean that I want to offend them. Unless she was just in a bad mood that day, I dunno. But that particular assistant manager always intimidates me slightly. Especially since she has such a loud, sharp voice which is something that often sets off my anxiety.
But apart from that one incident, work was like it usually was. I feel like I'm building this up, and you're probably all curious as to why things went so dramatically downhill afterwards, so I should tell you guys now that it's something I'm not going to talk about as it's incredibly private. At first, I didn't see the incident that happened as that big of a deal, but it ended up setting off a huge chain of events that has now put me in a serious situation and at the mercy of my therapist's manager. This is something that blew up on Friday, especially after I revealed something to my therapist that has forced her to take action, so I'm now caught in this terrifying limbo.
I think the results of what happened and why it prevented me from writing speak for themselves:
Yeah.
Things got bad.
But don't worry about me, guys, I'll be fine...I hope.
No, I'm pretty sure that I'll be fine. I'll keep you guys posted if this leads to any major effects on my ability to properly update my stories. I'd never just vanish without at least finding some way to keep you guys informed. So because of everything that's currently going on, my update schedule has now been scrapped (not that I've been sticking to it lately anyway). I'm still going to be updating my stories, it's just going to be a lot more random now. Hopefully once things have settled down for me again, I can figure out a new schedule. I'll keep you guys posted on Twitter and on my blog.
Oh yeah, and it looks like lanelin will be creating a comic of the first chapter of Madness Within which sounds incredibly exciting! I nearly fainted when she sent me that message to ask me if it was okay. Hell yeah it's okay! Nothing could be more okay! It's the okayist thing ever! So yeah, keep an eye out for that, and if this is a project she completes, you can bet that I'll be posting it everywhere.
That's all I really have to report on this week. I'm really sorry about all of this chaos, and I am hoping that it will all clear up quickly. To keep myself from going insane, I've become addicted to this colouring app I downloaded onto my phone, as well as playing Animal Crossing. Those things have been really helping me keep calm in all of this craziness. But here's hoping that I can recover from these last few days and get back to some writing.
Despite everything, I'm still available if you have any questions or just want to say hi. My replies just might be a bit slower than normal. While everything sorts itself out, keep an eye out for my story updates, as like I said, they will be more random now. But at the moment, I am hoping to get my one-shot for ChibiRinni out tomorrow and hopefully have the next chapter of Madness Within out by Wednesday. As for Chat Vert, I have no idea. It just depends on how this coming Friday goes as that's when I'll find out a little bit more about what's going on and what's going to happen.
Once again, I really am sorry about this.
Overall, I'd say this has been a week of extremes. Extreme highs and extreme lows. It seemed like there wasn't really anything in between, so it's left me emotionally exhausted. I also feel like I've got whiplash due to how quickly I would be going from happy to depressed and then depressed to happy. So yeah, it's no wonder I haven't really been able to get any writing done, and although it couldn't be helped, I still am sorry. This blog post should hopefully kind of explain what's been going on and why things have been so crazy and stressful for me.
Okay, back to the Saturday after my previous blog post. I had hoped that would be a writing day, but it was just way too hot for me to focus that day. I don't cope well in heat at the best of times, but when the temperature is like ten times hotter than average, I promptly die. I pretty much ended up melting into a gooey mess on all of the furniture. That, and I actually decided to sit outside to get some vitimin D for once and work on a jigsaw puzzle - something I have become weirdly obsessed with lately. It's been really helping my depression and anxiety by distracting my mind.
Sunday I already knew that I wouldn't be able to get any work done since I was visiting my best friend as it was her birthday last week. Travelling to her house is always such a nightmare though as I have to get a bus into the next valley and then climb up a huge hill because she literally lives in the middle of nowhere. Only this time, I had gotten about a quarter of the way up the hill when my friend then decided to text me and say she would meet me at the bottom as she needed to visit the store. Yeah, I ended up strangling her for that. I love her to death and she's like a sister to me, but my god she can be a pain in the neck sometimes. At least it gives me a lot of power over her though, as whenever she's annoying me or chewing me out over a situation that I've gotten myself into, I can just bring up 'the crystal incident' and she soon shuts up. Yeah, she still owes me after that incident.
After strangling her, I quickly forgave her since she bought me an oreo ice-cream sandwich, which by the way is one of the most delciously orgasmic things I have ever tasted. It was like I had died and gone to oreo heaven. I already know what my boyfriend is going to say to me upon reading this, so I'll save myself some time by saying shut up Jowy Avilon! Don't even think about teasing me about my embarrassing oreo incident!
Anyway, Sunday was definitely a fun day and was one of the highs of my week. I always love getting to see my best friend as we don't really get to see each other that often anymore. But when we get back together it's like we've never been apart. Although putting us together often leads to disaster since our combined stupidness is a force to be reckoned with. Our plan was to order take-out, but it wasn't until later in the afternoon that we realised that no one delivers to where my friend lives since, y'know, she lives in the middle of nowhere. So we ended up having to go back to my place. Apparently we didn't think our plans for that day through very well. But hey, it was a fun adventure.
Monday was another high day. I had woke up a little on the anxious side, especially since I knew that I would have to end up making an important phone call. My assistant was putting a little bit too much pressure on me for my liking to face my fear of phones and call up the place I had my interview on Friday. Turns out, I didn't need to, as no sooner as I was preparing myself to make the call, they called me. And...I GOT THE JOB! Like...what?! AHHHHHHHH!
I was in denial for most of the day, especially since I'm now suspicious of any and all good news that I get. I often wonder how I'm going to mess things up and ruin everything. So I was a huge mixture of happiness and anxiety. It left me wandering around in a daze.
My new job isn't exactly a career I ever saw myself going into either. I never thought that I would work in health, but hey, guess I am now. I just kind of go with the flow sometimes and follow whatever path life seems to take me down. It sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun, and the training looks really exciting. It definitely has me feeling a bit more secure now so yaaaaay!
Despite the excitement of that, I actually managed to get my review of Timetagger uploaded on time, which you can read by clicking here. I didn't have time to work on Chat Vert though, but at that point I was feeling pretty confident that I could get everything updated this week. Unfortunately, little did I know then how much things would go down hill. But I suppose I should have seen it coming. I know the universe never lets me be that happy and confident without some sort of catch.
Not really much happened on Tuesday. Work was fun, and then I had to head into my new job to sign some paperwork and all that jazz. It's so awesome having jobs that are so close to where I live, because it means that I can literally roll out of bed and then I'm there. Plus, it will allow me plenty of writing time which was something that worried me about possibly getting a job in the city. But I've found something much closer to home, which is further bonus points. However, after the visit, I ended up stubbing my toe really badly to a point where I was actually worried that I'd hammered my nail into my toe. I hadn't, but there was still a load of blood, so that was fun and agonising.
I had planned for Wednesday to be a really productive day, however, it ended up being a kind of productive that I wasn't intending. Originally, I had planned to give the house a quick clean and then get on with some writing, but that quick clean turned into a huge sort out, especially in my bedroom. I am such a bad hoarder of old junk. I even found a cinema ticket from 2012 at the bottom of my underwear drawer. Just...what? Why did I still have that thing, and, more importantly, what was it doing in that drawer of all places? This epic cleaning project ended up taking all day, eating into any writing time that I had which was annoying, but on the plus side, all of my story notes are organised now, so I guess it wasn't a total loss.
Thursday was the day that everything went dramatically downhill. The day started off great, apart from the fact that I think I may have accidentally offended one of the assistant managers by laughing during an inappropriate situation. Ugh, I'm always doing stuff like that. Humour is my main coping mechanism, but I often end up forgetting that this is not the case for everyone. Some people just always take things seriously, and an incident I may find funny, they might not. I don't quite understand people who always take things seriously, but hey, to each their own, and it doesn't mean that I want to offend them. Unless she was just in a bad mood that day, I dunno. But that particular assistant manager always intimidates me slightly. Especially since she has such a loud, sharp voice which is something that often sets off my anxiety.
But apart from that one incident, work was like it usually was. I feel like I'm building this up, and you're probably all curious as to why things went so dramatically downhill afterwards, so I should tell you guys now that it's something I'm not going to talk about as it's incredibly private. At first, I didn't see the incident that happened as that big of a deal, but it ended up setting off a huge chain of events that has now put me in a serious situation and at the mercy of my therapist's manager. This is something that blew up on Friday, especially after I revealed something to my therapist that has forced her to take action, so I'm now caught in this terrifying limbo.
I think the results of what happened and why it prevented me from writing speak for themselves:
Yeah.
Things got bad.
But don't worry about me, guys, I'll be fine...I hope.
No, I'm pretty sure that I'll be fine. I'll keep you guys posted if this leads to any major effects on my ability to properly update my stories. I'd never just vanish without at least finding some way to keep you guys informed. So because of everything that's currently going on, my update schedule has now been scrapped (not that I've been sticking to it lately anyway). I'm still going to be updating my stories, it's just going to be a lot more random now. Hopefully once things have settled down for me again, I can figure out a new schedule. I'll keep you guys posted on Twitter and on my blog.
Oh yeah, and it looks like lanelin will be creating a comic of the first chapter of Madness Within which sounds incredibly exciting! I nearly fainted when she sent me that message to ask me if it was okay. Hell yeah it's okay! Nothing could be more okay! It's the okayist thing ever! So yeah, keep an eye out for that, and if this is a project she completes, you can bet that I'll be posting it everywhere.
That's all I really have to report on this week. I'm really sorry about all of this chaos, and I am hoping that it will all clear up quickly. To keep myself from going insane, I've become addicted to this colouring app I downloaded onto my phone, as well as playing Animal Crossing. Those things have been really helping me keep calm in all of this craziness. But here's hoping that I can recover from these last few days and get back to some writing.
Despite everything, I'm still available if you have any questions or just want to say hi. My replies just might be a bit slower than normal. While everything sorts itself out, keep an eye out for my story updates, as like I said, they will be more random now. But at the moment, I am hoping to get my one-shot for ChibiRinni out tomorrow and hopefully have the next chapter of Madness Within out by Wednesday. As for Chat Vert, I have no idea. It just depends on how this coming Friday goes as that's when I'll find out a little bit more about what's going on and what's going to happen.
Once again, I really am sorry about this.
Oreo's you say?! The good ol COOKIE you mean! Good times, GOOD TIMES! 👿
ReplyDeleteLeave me alone! T_T
DeleteOh man! I'm so curious, but I'll behave and not ask....
DeleteThe freakin universe needs to calm its tits and just let people have a good week for once! *shakes first at sky*
ReplyDeleteEh just update when you can, everyone else can deal with it. At least you'll have one reader eagerly awaiting your next chapter! And surprisingly you update more frequently than half the stories I've been following. Congrats on the new job!
Aye, that sure would be nice! At the moment it really does feel like it's out to get me with a vengence. Dodging everything that it throws at me is such a pain. Screw you universe!
DeleteThank you, that's so kind and sweet of you. I'm so lucky to have such amazing readers like you. Awww, thank you so much! I really appreciate it!
Ya know, a large portion of us “traitors” are wondering how we get back into the UK, because America is quite shit right now (not that the UK is doing much better... >_> ). Hehehe. Still, thanks (much belated) for the Happy 4th.
ReplyDeleteOH! Puzzles are so much fun! I haven't put one together in YEARS. I should get back into that. My dad used to do the 3D puzzles and mystery/conversational ones. They're so much fun, but quite a bit more mentally engaging. One of my college friends does word puzzles and colors in mandala patterns. I hope you still do puzzles or other such relaxing activities to help you decompress.
OK. Bubble-wrap! Your boyfriend or your family or SOMEONE needs to wrap you up in bubble-wrap at all times! You seem to get injured every week! O,O
Oh, hun! I'm so sorry I vanished when you went through that poor weekend! Perhaps you did reach out to me on FB and I just can't recall that far back, but if you didn't, please know that if something that major happens again, you can always throw a DM my way. I promise your venting will NOT bother me. Only if you're comfortable, that is. If it were that private perhaps you don't want too many people to know about it. Still. A simple “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” in my inbox if it will help you. I will scream back with you. <3