Pixie's Chronicle: Getting Sorted

Phew, it seems like I have now managed to have gained some sort of respite from all of the chaos that's been going on in my life lately. And by that, I mean that I have been ignoring everything. Not the best coping mechanism, I know, but I'm just so done with people this week. I've got to a point where everyone else can jog on; I wanna focus on myself and getting my life organised. Things are still a bit messy, but I'm getting there.

So the main event and theme of this week has been me trying to get myself sorted and trying to organise a new schedule, figuring out my new best writing times. With the huge changes that are happening in my life at the moment, everything is still a bit up the air, and I'm once again having to adapt to a new routine. I start my new job very soon, so I obviously need to work around that. Plus, I also need to ensure that I get some rest time since I always need that to remain sane. This week has still been pretty busy, but it feels great being able to take back some semblance of control.

Monday certainly ended up being the first productive day writing wise in a while. I know it's been a few weeks since I updated my stories at this point, but don't worry, I'm very much working on it. It's just that finding the time at the moment is very difficult since everything is still pretty chaotic. But on Monday, I finally fully figured out my one-shot for ChibiRinni, and managed to finish writing it at last! So yeah, that has now finally been published on FanFiction - four months late. Oops. I felt super bad, but ChibiRinni was really understanding and seemed to love it, so yaaaay! It's also become my most popular one-shot which is awesome! Thank you so much for your reviews and support! And if you haven't already, you can read my one-shot for ChibiRinni, Experimental Kiss, by clicking here.

It was a huge relief to finally have it published since it's been bothering me for the past few months. I'd like to thank LycoRogue and Jowy Avilon for being there for me during all of my stressful moments and freak outs, and thank you ChibiRinni for being such a wonderful, amazing and understanding friend. You guys are all super important to me, and honestly, I'd probably be lost without you all. All the squishy hugs!

Unfortunately Tuesday ended up being a tough day. My mental health completely plummeted, and I was miserable for most of the day. It was all to do with some personal stuff that I had going on, and it also meant that I had a very short fuse that day too. Sometimes during my depression episodes, I can get really snappy, and I pretty much take it out on anyone who annoys me even the slightest. It's not good, I know, and I'm really trying to work on it. But Tuesday was one of those days. I thought that being at work that day would help keep me busy and distracted, but apparently not.

Since this job is in retail, I have to deal with customers quite a lot, and I'm sure to my fellow retail workers out there, you know how annoying people can be. Surprisingly, I'm actually quite patient with customers, and I never lose my temper with them. If anything, I just find annoying customer situations funny rather than frustrating. But this time that patience was gone. It all started when a woman could clearly see I was sorting a shelf out, but yet she just had to push herself in there and hit me in the face with a bunch of men's jackets. Then some Greek lady started screaming at the manager, though we had no clue what she was saying since she didn't speak English. Then the assistant manager ended up giving me all of the jobs that I hated, and my usual work buddy was no help and kept lazily ditching me, so I found that a bit annoying.

I ended up trying to clean the men's tousers section up a little bit, and low and behold, I turn my back for two minutes, look back, and it's a total mess again. Seriously, is it so hard for people to put stuff back the way they found it? It was little and silly, but I'd had enough, so I made sure to keep myself in the stockroom after that, now in a total and complete foul mood. It was just one of those days, and the depression made everything ten times worse than it already was.

But luckily, when I got home, my boyfriend managed to cheer me up by finishing our marathon of Kim Possible together. Now we don't know what to do with our lives. I'm trying to continue watching The Tudors, but that's a hard series to binge watch since every episode is around an hour long. It's been weeks and I'm still only on season one. I hope that I can speed things up with that soon. I've also been trying to focus more on Duolingo, especially ever since I lost my streak. My French and Spanish seems to be coming along pretty well and I'm really enoying my lessons.

Wednesday turned into a productive day, but for all the wrong reasons. I had hoped that it would be a huge writing day where I would get so much done, but it ended up turning into a cleaning spree instead. The house looked like a bomb had hit it, and since I'm the only person in the house who actually bothers to clean things properly, I knew the task was going to be up to me. I ended up doing a huge sort out of my room that day as well. I always end up accidentally hoarding so much junk. I even found a cinema ticket from 2012 in my underwear drawer of all places. Yeah, I have no clue either.

Unfortunately before I knew it, it was much later in the day and all I had done all day was clean. No writing had been done, and I felt like a complete procrastinating idiot. It was the one day this week I had free to get plenty of it done and I had blown it. But I guess it wasn't a total loss since I was daydreaming about my stories the entire time and managed to find a few songs to help me with extra inspiration. Not to mention I managed to face my phobia of phones and make a phone call. CBT is really working wonders for me right now.

Thankfully, Thursday was a much better day and things were looking like they were on the up. Work was much more pleasant and was as fun as it usually was. Though I did end up stupidily injuring my feet and ripped my pants. I literally can't go outside without something happening to me, can I? On my way into town after work, my friend ended up giving me a heart attack as I had to save her from being run over by a car. Having anxiety disorders and being with a friend who has no sense of danger is a terrible combination sometimes. She wasn't even bothered, yet I was clinging onto her, hyperventilating. It was totally a good look when arriving for a meeting with your new manager. 10/10 would recommend.

Both Thursday and Friday weren't really good for my overall anxiety since I also now appear to have a bloodshot eye and I have no idea why. It's been like that for days, and I've been starting to panic slightly since I'm squeamish when it comes to anything to do with eyes. I had a look on the NHS website and it looks like I might have just burst a blood vessel, but I've turned into a bit of a hypocondriac again. So yeah, I've been walking around these past few days looking like I'm stoned. It's not painful (apart from maybe feeling like it's a tiny bit bruised sometimes), and my vision is fine, but it just isn't going away. If it's not getting any better in a few days, it looks like I'm gonna have to see a doctor. Fun. So yeah, that's had me panicking over the past few days.

Friday was therapy day which is always emotionally exhausting. Plus it hadn't helped that I'd had to skip both breakfast and lunch that day, so on my way home, I thought 'why not?' and ended up treating myself to a McDonald's since it had been way over a year since I'd had one. Big mistake though since I always seem to forget how much McDonalds' food messes with my stomach. It's weird, but it seems to mess with my body's ability to decide whether it's hungry or not, and when I try to eat afterwards, I can't manage anything. Oh well, it was worth it to satisfy my random craving.

But towards the end of the day, I just ended up feeling super sleepy. Junk food can do that to me sometimes, but I also think it was a combination of emotional exhaustion, lack of decent sleep and because of how hot it's been lately. My sleep has been weird lately. I keep falling into a deep sleep with vivid dreams before jolting awake, then falling back into a deep sleep and then jolting awake again. I think the most weird dream I had this week was that humanity had split into two factions and were at war with each other. I was part of a biological engineering team when all of a sudden we were attacked by giant giraffes. Needless to say, I was speechless when I woke up from that one.

I did end up getting some awesome fanart from StrawberryGirl_Ashley though! She was sweet enough to send me this, and I'm so happy that people have been sending me fan art of my story. I never feel worthy of you guys' talents, and I nearly choke up every time someone tags me in something they have created that was inspired by my work. But yeah, here it is:

Madness Within by StrawberryGirl_Ashley

Very representitive, don't you think?

Saturday was a bit of a lazy day while also trying to work out a new writing schedule. I know that I definitely want to get a lot of writing done this coming week. Especially since I won't be able to update the week after next since I'm away on a training course and won't have any time to write. So I'm aiming for at least two Madness Within updates and at least one Chat Vert update this coming week. I also have a few W.I.T.C.H one-shots that I want to work on, I need to continue work on Immortal Bond, as well as keep up the planning of my future story ideas.

So yeah, I'm expecting next week to be a busy week writing wise. I'm going to try and make it my number one priority, and everybody else (unless it's important) can go whistle. I need to channel my inner writing machine just like I used to, because I feel like I have really slowed down lately and like chapters take me way longer to write than they used to do.

I also need to get the review for Gamer 2.0 written. I'm not sure whether that will be published tomorrow or the week after, but it will be either or. Of course I'll always let you know on Twitter when I have uploaded it. I am hoping to get the next chapter of Madness Within uploaded tomorrow, maybe Chat Vert on Wednesday and then maybe Madness Within again on the Friday. At least that's how my schedule for next week is looking so far anyway.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that Pixie's Chronicle will now be updated every Sunday now instead of Friday since that ended up making more sense to me, given that Sunday is the last day of the week. It takes some of the stress off Friday as well since that's normally my busiest day. I'm also hoping to upload new chapters of Destiny's Dance and Madness Within onto AO3 as well, as I have been neglecting that website a lot lately while I try and catch up on things.

Fingers crossed that I manage to get all of this done!