Ugh, you guys were right. I seriously needed a break after everything that happened last week. I honestly thought that I would be alright and that I could power through, but nope! My brain had other plans as usual. But still, it did give me the chance to de-stress a little bit and come back to everything a little bit fresher. So yeah, that's why I've been a little on the inactive side this week.
My crash happened on Monday when I tried to force myself to write the next chapter of Chat Vert. I sat down, I knew what I wanted to write, but...nothing. I was just so tired and fed up that I couldn't concentrate on writing at all. I hadn't been sleeping properly, and I was still stressed over everything that was going on. Plus, I'd had a job interview in the morning, so that meant that I was already emotionally exhausted and had used up most of my brain power. I was really starting to freak out, panicking over getting the chapter finished to a good standard, especially since the last one was a little bit of a mess.
But then I started to think about all of the lovely comments that you guys had left me. A lot of you were suggesting and encouraging me to take a break and not overload myself. You were all so kind, telling me that my stories could wait and that I should just focus on looking after myself. So you know what? I took your advice. I couldn't quite believe it myself. I did feel really guilty, but I knew that I needed it, especially because of the instant sigh of relief that my brain and body made when I came to that decision. I really needed a few days off.
I'd been stressing so much over the one-shot that I want to write for ChibiRinni. I had almost finished it when all of a sudden I noticed a huge plot hole, which ruined everything! I was so mad and just ended up slamming my face down on my keyboard when I spotted it. I couldn't believe that I had been so stupid. My dear friend deserves better than that. So I broke down on her again, feeling really bad that I kept constantly delaying her one-shot, but she was totally cool with me and told me to just finish it when I could. It didn't really ease my guilt, but I did decide to take a step away and then hopefully come back with a new idea that was plot hole free. I was beginning to wonder if I was thinking about it too hard rather than just letting everything flow. So at some point (hopefully this weekend), I'm planning on just sitting down and see what flows out of my brain. I have the base idea, it's just providing the details that I'm struggling with. So I hoped that a few days off would help me finish polishing up the one-shot idea.
Originally, I had just planned on taking Monday off, hence why I said on Twitter that I would be updating Chat Vert on Tuesday, but yeah, that didn't end up happening. I was still burnt out that day and I was still really tired from not getting any proper sleep. I'm getting sick of not feeling well rested. It's probably down to stress. But the annoying thing about stress is that I get stressed about being stressed. It's a nightmare. I get myself stuck in this stress cycle, and it's often very hard to get myself out of it.
I was still stressed over my sister for one. But on a positive note, thank you guys so much for all of your wonderful and helpful advice. Most of you were pretty much telling me the same thing. So for now, I'm just going to leave things alone as I've place the ball in her court, and I'll see what she does. I already have a feeling how this is going to end, because my younger brother used this tactic and he now hasn't heard from her for over a year so....yay? It's getting to a point where I'm starting to feel really salty towards her, which is dangerous, as anger is the last thing you need in this sort of situation; it often ruins things. I'm not holding my breath. But I guess I can take some satisfaction from the fact that I tried.
For now, I'm just trying to put all of that drama to the back of my mind. My therapist often tells me that I focus way too much on other people, a bad habit that I really need to break. So me taking a break was also about that as well. I was tired, I didn't feel like writing and I wanted a break, so that's what I did.
Though I technically didn't take a complete break from everything. I was still working on my blog and editing chapters and all that jazz. But not writing did give me a lot of free time. I finally started reading some new books that I had bought the previous week, and I also finally started playing some video games again. Of course I'm still playing Animal Crossing: New Leaf, but I'm also now playing Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask. I love puzzles, and my boyfriend and I often like trying to solve them together. I've also been planning for the time I get some gerbils. I finally decided that I was going to make my own cage since the ones in pet stores are borderline cruel. I found some great tutorials on Pinterest, and I'm really excited to hopefully finally have some gerbils again soon!
Wednesday was pretty much the same. Just me playing games, watching videos, reading and also getting some housework done. Unbelievably, something amazing happened when I was vacuuming the house. I finally cracked Immortal Bond! I finally did it! I finally came up with an idea that would fix everything! I couldn't believe it. I immediately dropped everything and wrote it all down. There was no way in hell that I wanted to lose that idea.
After months and months of planning and stressing over that story, a huge idea finally comes to me when I was vacuuming of all things. Thanks brain. But still, I'm just glad to finally have my groove back with that story. I've been worrying over it for so long now, adding and taking away this and that, but still not feeling like something was right. My new ideas were just way too complicated, but now I think I have struck a perfect balance. Now I guess I'll just see what happens when I start writing. I still want to get a good few chapters written of that story before I start posting them, just to make sure that I'm not going to run into any dead ends again. I'm super excited!
It was also awesome seeing my friend TLOS21 finally post her first ever one-shot to FanFiction. So if you guys haven't ready checked it out, then I'll highly recommend it. TLOS21 is looking for advice and help on improving her work, so reviewing her little one-shot will be of huge help to her. So if you need something romantic and fluffy, then you can read her story, The Purrfect Duet, by clicking here.
Speaking of TLOS21, she created the most beautiful birthday gift for me:
Once I was just myself
Before you dubbed me your "Little Elf"
With each other, we're always honest,
My "all knowing miraculous goddess"
We talk day and night
Our phone screens shine bright
My star sign is Sagittarius
Who always encourages with "you got this"
Your sign is Taurus
Always asking from me to be a catharsis
You're always thinking "something's wrong with me"
But I tell you now and for always
"You are beautiful, my little Pixie"
Isn't that just the sweetest and most amazing thing in the world? It really helped lift my spirits and I've been smiling like an idiot ever since I read it. I'm so lucky to have such amazing friends. TLOS21 was actually the very first friend that I made when I started writing for the Miraculous Ladybug fandom. We've pretty much been inseperable ever since. I love how my life took such a positive turn when I started writing fanfiction again. I've made the most amazing and truest friends ever, and I've never felt so blessed.
All of this love and support, as well as my mini rest, has helped given my brain that boost that it so desperately needed. It allowed me to come up with the perfect idea for Immortal Bond, and I'm now feeling more inspired than ever! It's also helped that I've made such an amazing friend at work. You know when you meet certain people and you just instantly click? It turns out that my new friend is also into fanfiction, which is awesome! She keeps encouraging me to publish all of my crazy dreams on FictionPress - which I'm still having by the way. Last night I dreamt about a nuclear apocolypse, so that wasn't quite as fun. But I'm definitely becoming more tempted to write them up and publish them now. I think it would be pretty hilarious, especially since strangers who just stumble across it won't have any context. Though I will change the names of the people I know who appear in my dreams for the sake of anonymity.
To be honest, my little rest could not have come at a worse time since a new French dub episode of Miraculous Ladybug was released. This means that I've been having to dodge spoilers all the time, which is annoying, and means that I can't browse Tumblr, Pinterest and Twitter like I normally would. I just wish that all the dubs could be released at the same time. So that means my relaxing browsing time has been heavily restricted.
Speaking of new Miraculous Ladybug episodes, don't forget that my reviews for Oni-Chan, Bakerix and Miraculer are still to come over the next coming Mondays. I always love it when a bunch of new episodes release because it means I don't have to think of anything else to do for Miraculous Monday. Coming up with ideas for every Monday when there isn't an episode to talk about is really difficult.
Today has been a bit of a hectic day as I prepared to get back into my regular schedule again. I'm really going to try and organise myself better so that I don't end up repeating what happened last week. There is no way that I want to be that stressed again. But I'm now managing to put a lot of the family drama behind me and I'm starting to feel more at peace with myself. It helps that I have such inspiring friends that are really helping me to be myself and not really care about what anyone else thinks. It's going to be a long journey to reach that type of confidence, but I feel like I've taken a big first step towards a happier me.
The next chapter of Madness Within will be uploaded tomorrow instead of today since I'm getting back to cracking on with things, and I'd hate to leave that story any longer since I'm so behind on it. I'm so determined to keep updating that story at least once a week I was actually quite shocked over how many people that I caught off guard with the previous chapter. But hey, I'm not complaining. Your reactions were amazing and hilarious to read, especially the person who told me that I should be hired as a Game of Thrones writer because I knew how to write really good twists. Thank you kind reviewer. You guys certainly are nowhere near ready for what I have planned in the future of that story.
As for Chat Vert, updating will hopefully go back to normal this coming Monday. I apologise for sacrificing that story this week, but I hope you understand my reasonings. I was just way too tired and needed some rest. But I'm refreshed and ready to get on with things again.
Unfortunately that's pretty much all I have to say for this week. I apologise if this blog post was a little on the quick and boring side, but I honestly didn't get up to much this week apart from relaxing, work, housework and editing chapters for AO3. The highlight of the week was definitely finally coming up with an idea for Immortal Bond that will hopefully fix all the issues that I've been having with that story. So I guess maybe it was fate that I needed this mini break.
Pixie out.
My crash happened on Monday when I tried to force myself to write the next chapter of Chat Vert. I sat down, I knew what I wanted to write, but...nothing. I was just so tired and fed up that I couldn't concentrate on writing at all. I hadn't been sleeping properly, and I was still stressed over everything that was going on. Plus, I'd had a job interview in the morning, so that meant that I was already emotionally exhausted and had used up most of my brain power. I was really starting to freak out, panicking over getting the chapter finished to a good standard, especially since the last one was a little bit of a mess.
 |
| Here's a sneak peak of chapter 7 of Chat Vert |
But then I started to think about all of the lovely comments that you guys had left me. A lot of you were suggesting and encouraging me to take a break and not overload myself. You were all so kind, telling me that my stories could wait and that I should just focus on looking after myself. So you know what? I took your advice. I couldn't quite believe it myself. I did feel really guilty, but I knew that I needed it, especially because of the instant sigh of relief that my brain and body made when I came to that decision. I really needed a few days off.
I'd been stressing so much over the one-shot that I want to write for ChibiRinni. I had almost finished it when all of a sudden I noticed a huge plot hole, which ruined everything! I was so mad and just ended up slamming my face down on my keyboard when I spotted it. I couldn't believe that I had been so stupid. My dear friend deserves better than that. So I broke down on her again, feeling really bad that I kept constantly delaying her one-shot, but she was totally cool with me and told me to just finish it when I could. It didn't really ease my guilt, but I did decide to take a step away and then hopefully come back with a new idea that was plot hole free. I was beginning to wonder if I was thinking about it too hard rather than just letting everything flow. So at some point (hopefully this weekend), I'm planning on just sitting down and see what flows out of my brain. I have the base idea, it's just providing the details that I'm struggling with. So I hoped that a few days off would help me finish polishing up the one-shot idea.
Originally, I had just planned on taking Monday off, hence why I said on Twitter that I would be updating Chat Vert on Tuesday, but yeah, that didn't end up happening. I was still burnt out that day and I was still really tired from not getting any proper sleep. I'm getting sick of not feeling well rested. It's probably down to stress. But the annoying thing about stress is that I get stressed about being stressed. It's a nightmare. I get myself stuck in this stress cycle, and it's often very hard to get myself out of it.
I was still stressed over my sister for one. But on a positive note, thank you guys so much for all of your wonderful and helpful advice. Most of you were pretty much telling me the same thing. So for now, I'm just going to leave things alone as I've place the ball in her court, and I'll see what she does. I already have a feeling how this is going to end, because my younger brother used this tactic and he now hasn't heard from her for over a year so....yay? It's getting to a point where I'm starting to feel really salty towards her, which is dangerous, as anger is the last thing you need in this sort of situation; it often ruins things. I'm not holding my breath. But I guess I can take some satisfaction from the fact that I tried.
For now, I'm just trying to put all of that drama to the back of my mind. My therapist often tells me that I focus way too much on other people, a bad habit that I really need to break. So me taking a break was also about that as well. I was tired, I didn't feel like writing and I wanted a break, so that's what I did.
Though I technically didn't take a complete break from everything. I was still working on my blog and editing chapters and all that jazz. But not writing did give me a lot of free time. I finally started reading some new books that I had bought the previous week, and I also finally started playing some video games again. Of course I'm still playing Animal Crossing: New Leaf, but I'm also now playing Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask. I love puzzles, and my boyfriend and I often like trying to solve them together. I've also been planning for the time I get some gerbils. I finally decided that I was going to make my own cage since the ones in pet stores are borderline cruel. I found some great tutorials on Pinterest, and I'm really excited to hopefully finally have some gerbils again soon!
Wednesday was pretty much the same. Just me playing games, watching videos, reading and also getting some housework done. Unbelievably, something amazing happened when I was vacuuming the house. I finally cracked Immortal Bond! I finally did it! I finally came up with an idea that would fix everything! I couldn't believe it. I immediately dropped everything and wrote it all down. There was no way in hell that I wanted to lose that idea.
After months and months of planning and stressing over that story, a huge idea finally comes to me when I was vacuuming of all things. Thanks brain. But still, I'm just glad to finally have my groove back with that story. I've been worrying over it for so long now, adding and taking away this and that, but still not feeling like something was right. My new ideas were just way too complicated, but now I think I have struck a perfect balance. Now I guess I'll just see what happens when I start writing. I still want to get a good few chapters written of that story before I start posting them, just to make sure that I'm not going to run into any dead ends again. I'm super excited!
It was also awesome seeing my friend TLOS21 finally post her first ever one-shot to FanFiction. So if you guys haven't ready checked it out, then I'll highly recommend it. TLOS21 is looking for advice and help on improving her work, so reviewing her little one-shot will be of huge help to her. So if you need something romantic and fluffy, then you can read her story, The Purrfect Duet, by clicking here.
Speaking of TLOS21, she created the most beautiful birthday gift for me:
Once I was just myself
Before you dubbed me your "Little Elf"
With each other, we're always honest,
My "all knowing miraculous goddess"
We talk day and night
Our phone screens shine bright
My star sign is Sagittarius
Who always encourages with "you got this"
Your sign is Taurus
Always asking from me to be a catharsis
You're always thinking "something's wrong with me"
But I tell you now and for always
"You are beautiful, my little Pixie"
Isn't that just the sweetest and most amazing thing in the world? It really helped lift my spirits and I've been smiling like an idiot ever since I read it. I'm so lucky to have such amazing friends. TLOS21 was actually the very first friend that I made when I started writing for the Miraculous Ladybug fandom. We've pretty much been inseperable ever since. I love how my life took such a positive turn when I started writing fanfiction again. I've made the most amazing and truest friends ever, and I've never felt so blessed.
All of this love and support, as well as my mini rest, has helped given my brain that boost that it so desperately needed. It allowed me to come up with the perfect idea for Immortal Bond, and I'm now feeling more inspired than ever! It's also helped that I've made such an amazing friend at work. You know when you meet certain people and you just instantly click? It turns out that my new friend is also into fanfiction, which is awesome! She keeps encouraging me to publish all of my crazy dreams on FictionPress - which I'm still having by the way. Last night I dreamt about a nuclear apocolypse, so that wasn't quite as fun. But I'm definitely becoming more tempted to write them up and publish them now. I think it would be pretty hilarious, especially since strangers who just stumble across it won't have any context. Though I will change the names of the people I know who appear in my dreams for the sake of anonymity.
To be honest, my little rest could not have come at a worse time since a new French dub episode of Miraculous Ladybug was released. This means that I've been having to dodge spoilers all the time, which is annoying, and means that I can't browse Tumblr, Pinterest and Twitter like I normally would. I just wish that all the dubs could be released at the same time. So that means my relaxing browsing time has been heavily restricted.
Speaking of new Miraculous Ladybug episodes, don't forget that my reviews for Oni-Chan, Bakerix and Miraculer are still to come over the next coming Mondays. I always love it when a bunch of new episodes release because it means I don't have to think of anything else to do for Miraculous Monday. Coming up with ideas for every Monday when there isn't an episode to talk about is really difficult.
Today has been a bit of a hectic day as I prepared to get back into my regular schedule again. I'm really going to try and organise myself better so that I don't end up repeating what happened last week. There is no way that I want to be that stressed again. But I'm now managing to put a lot of the family drama behind me and I'm starting to feel more at peace with myself. It helps that I have such inspiring friends that are really helping me to be myself and not really care about what anyone else thinks. It's going to be a long journey to reach that type of confidence, but I feel like I've taken a big first step towards a happier me.
The next chapter of Madness Within will be uploaded tomorrow instead of today since I'm getting back to cracking on with things, and I'd hate to leave that story any longer since I'm so behind on it. I'm so determined to keep updating that story at least once a week I was actually quite shocked over how many people that I caught off guard with the previous chapter. But hey, I'm not complaining. Your reactions were amazing and hilarious to read, especially the person who told me that I should be hired as a Game of Thrones writer because I knew how to write really good twists. Thank you kind reviewer. You guys certainly are nowhere near ready for what I have planned in the future of that story.
As for Chat Vert, updating will hopefully go back to normal this coming Monday. I apologise for sacrificing that story this week, but I hope you understand my reasonings. I was just way too tired and needed some rest. But I'm refreshed and ready to get on with things again.
Unfortunately that's pretty much all I have to say for this week. I apologise if this blog post was a little on the quick and boring side, but I honestly didn't get up to much this week apart from relaxing, work, housework and editing chapters for AO3. The highlight of the week was definitely finally coming up with an idea for Immortal Bond that will hopefully fix all the issues that I've been having with that story. So I guess maybe it was fate that I needed this mini break.
Pixie out.
Glad you finally took a rest! Self care is the most important.
ReplyDeleteMy best ideas seem to come when I'm doing repetitive, menial tasks. I guess because the brain has a chance to just wander and go where it pleases. Cant wait to read immortal bond again!
I heard the dub of Bunnix is coming out tomorrow, so you might be able to watch it sooner than you think. It's a fun episode, as long as you dont try to analyze the time travel part!
I'm glad too. I actually didn't quite realise how much I needed it. Yeah, I suppose that is probably the reason. I just hope that people like my new ideas just as much as my old one, if not more so.
DeleteOoooh, thanks for that heads up. I hope that it is coming out today, as I'm really excited to see that episode. Yeah, time travel is something that's really hard to write and often doesn't make sense. So I always try not to analyse it too much, lol.
Men, I love you! I really love the way you writte about really hard topics such as anxiety and panic attack. I been reading for a while and I'm so happy when you update any of the fics. I got caught with Immortal Bond so now I'm waiting for you to finish it. (Dont think that I'm pressuring you pls)
ReplyDeleteBecause of my job I can not read too much online (I usually start really early in the morning, finishing late in the evening plus the internet in a cruise ship sucks and it's expensive af) but I definitely im gonna go out in every port for free wifi to check your account to see any of your stories.
I hope I dont sound like a crazy fangirl I'm just so happy to found someone who it's a great writer and that kind of know how I feel in real life 😊
Ahahaha, wow! Thank you! Yeah, I always think that it's important to talk about these things. Aww, thank you so much! I'm so glad that you love my work! It really inspires me to continue when people tell me stuff like this. Hahaha, I know, it's okay. I know the feeling of being obsessed with a fanfic and waiting for them to update so you can find out what happens next.
DeleteYou work on a cruise ship? Cool! That's so awesome of you, I'm glad that I provide you with that much entertainment that you use your limited free time to read my work.
Lol, you're no more of a crazy fangirl than I am. I'm blushing so hard right now at your comment. I'm glad that you love my work and that it helps you! Thank you so much!