Honestly I'm thinking of changing blog day to Saturday seen as that's the day when I usually manage to finally upload. I did have this post finished writing wise yesterday, but I ran out of time to edit. By the time I sorted out doing final edits of Chat Vert and publishing it, it was one in the morning and I was completely exhausted.
But overall, I did finally manage to organise myself a little bit better this week, especially seen as I haven't suffered any lapses in mental health lately. I've been feeling pretty good about myself these past few days. I keep getting random bursts of motivation which is always a weird, but welcome feeling. I lay awake at midnight Wednesday night, determined to sort my life out. Whether that will actually happen remains to be seen though. I get these random urges every now and again and usually nothing ever comes of them. Now I just need to wait for the crippling depression to creep in again and remind me of how pointless those efforts will be.
But I'm going to try and fight it. I've sorted out a few support networks for myself which feels really nice. Granted the professional stuff is going to take weeks, maybe even months to come through (curse the UK's terrible support networks for mentally ill people). But luckily in the meantime, I have some really great friends to help pull me through. Simply just knowing that someone is there and cares about me is enough to help me ride out the depression and anxiety episodes. Just someone's presence is enough to determine whether I sink or float. And I think that's pretty much the same for most people battling mental illness. Just having someone remain by our side through the bad times really helps and makes a difference.
Speaking of friends, I've been invited out to play mini-golf on Sunday. So yeah, that should be interesting. I wonder what I can break by doing that? I haven't played mini-golf in years, so I'm pretty excited, but also nervous because of my clumsiness. Like I said, I hope that I don't break anything. But it should be nice to get out of the house and do something different for a change. And it will be nice to see this friend again as we don't get many opportunities to spend time together lately. We've pretty much been best friends since high school, and we've never fallen out with each other or had one argument in the entire time we've known each other, which is about ten years at this point. Yep, ten years of being best friends and we've never argued once. So it'll be really nice to see her again.
Overall, I've had a pretty uneventful week, thank goodness. It was nice to just slow down for a change. It gave me a chance to think and make sense of all my thoughts and ideas. And it was a huge success! I got my creative mojo back for Chat Vert which was awesome! It felt good to put pen to paper and to actually have ideas form and make sense. I spent some time scribbling some last minute stuff down before I finally settled down to write.
I really do think that the reason I was struggling and having issues with the story is because it's been so long since I did a simple storyline. All of my other stories so far have been pretty complicated, but this one is just meant to be pretty short and simple. But yeah, I have now finally uploaded the story onto FanFiction.net, and you can read the first chapter by clicking here. I just hope that people enjoy it.
This week, I also figured out another story idea, however, I'm going to be keeping this one on the secretive side for...secretive reasons. But it is going to be published very soon, so keep an eye out for any story published by me that just seems to come out of nowhere. The inspiration for this one just kinda hit me out of nowhere. It was an idea I had for a while, but I didn't really know what to do with it. But then all of a sudden it struck me. With a little help from my boyfriend, I hope that I've come up with something really good.
I think what is really going to help me with inspiration at the moment is that storm season is upon us in the UK. This year has been pretty quiet though. Normally by the end of September, we have storm after storm rolling in, but this year has been really quiet. The storm that's hitting us at the moment has been the first one this year I think.
I love storms. It's my favourite kind of whether and always really helps inspire me. Granted we have to be careful of wind damage and flooding, but I always find it really fun and exciting. Most of the time in the UK, if there's a flood, you'll still see people going down to the pub or surfing on the water. The British invented the notion of "keep calm and carry on", and I always find it funny when I see that actually acted out. Literally nothing phases us - apart from when we run out of teabags. My own mum once threw a huge temper tantrum because there wasn't enough milk for her cup of tea. That's definitely a stereotype that's true about us: our obsession with tea. I like tea, but I don't need three cups a day to function like my mum does. I'll just have a cup every now and again when I have a craving, usually when it starts getting colder. Because I cannot have a hot drink in the summer. I have no idea how some people do it.
Anyway, I went off on a bit of a tangent there. Back to talking about storms.
I really don't know what it is about them that inspires me. I guess they make me feel sombre, but in a good way. There's just something about wild weather that's good for a wild mind. I'm one of those people who can walk through rain and it doesn't bother me. I remember once when I went to the coast one year, I was on the beach when a huge storm rolled in, thunder, lightning, wind, torrential rain, the works. Walking through it back to where I was staying was weirdly peaceful. While everyone else was screaming and running for cover, I was just casually walking barefoot back up the cliff. I got soaked, but it didn't bother me at all. I definitely recommend walking barefoot through the rain. It's such a hard to describe liberating feeling.
So these last few days have been really fun as a result of all the stormy weather.
Apart from writing and planning out ideas, I've mostly been spending this week Christmas shopping which I always despise with a passion. Not because I hate buying people things, I love getting people gifts, no matter how paranoid I feel that they might not like them. It's the fact that I hate other shoppers. I get really frustrated and anxious, especially when stores are really busy as they tend to be this time of year. But I'm glad I got it all done early this year before the stores get any busier than they are now. I ended up injuring my wrist pretty badly due to how heavy one of the presents I decided to buy was.
I don't even like Christmas, yet I try my best to put in as much effort as possible. I know, I know, I probably sound like a total Scrooge right now, but I don't hate Christmas for the stereotypical reasons. Christmas is just a time of year that's full of a lot of bad memories for me, that's all. I try to look past them, but it can sour my spirit a little bit. Though I do get annoyed by the holiday for some of the stereotypical reasons. As stated before, I hate Christmas shopping, and I hate having to pretend to be nice to family when we really couldn't care less about each other.
But if there's one thing I do love, it's the food! Though unfortunately my mum is a terrible cook, so that's why this year, I have insisted on cooking and helping out. I'm not the best cook in the world, but I at least know how to season stuff and not forget the pigs in blankets, arguably the most important part of any Christmas dinner.
I still can't believe that Christmas is almost upon us. It's freaking me out. I really don't know where this year has gone. Though to be honest, I'm kinda glad. 2018 has been a horrible year for me, and I can't wait for it to be over. I mean, some good things have happened to me this year such as starting writing again, making a few new friends, and graduating university with the grade I wanted. However so many bad things also happened, and not the usual kind of bad, but as if the universe was trying to see how far it could push me.
Though knowing my luck, 2019 will probably be an even worse year now that I've said all this. I really need to learn to stop jinxing myself. But I've definitely got a few things to cheer me up, and stuff that has kept me from going completely cover the edge this year.
One of those things being a game called Animal Crossing: New Leaf. I've become extra addicted to it these past few days as well. I actually think I need to enter into some sort of rehab or something. I can't manage my life in the real world, but I can sure as hell manage a virtual one. Sometimes I just wish I can live in that game universe. Where I can just make money by fishing, bug catching, selling fruit and seashells, buying all the cute furniture and outfits, and being a downright awesome mayor for all of my animal villagers. Why can't real life be that simple and fun? I finally passed all of Gracie's fashion tests and I'm not ashamed to admit that I danced around a bit when that happened. It took me years to figure those stupid tests out. I know, I must look stupid...and you're probably right there. But I am now a fashionista! This means I can get the final store upgrade which is awesome! Bamboo everywhere!
And hey, if you play that game too, and if you ever wanna see what my town looks like and want to have a nosy around, my dream address is: 6D00-0119-20BB. Also, if you wanna become friends and hang out in game, feel free to let me know as I'd be more than happy to. Though my town is slightly on the messy side as I have been breeding flowers like crazy and I'm still trying to organise stuff.
So I think it's official that I definitely have a problem. But hey, I can think of worse things to be addicted to. At least I'm learning. I can now identify the species of a lot of bugs and fish as I found out while watching I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. Do I have any British readers who watch that show too? The fact that I could identify and smugly proclaim that I had caught that particular species and donated it to my museum was the moment I realised I had a huge problem. I also went into a pet store the other day and found that I could identify pretty much all the fish species they were selling. I both amazed and disappointed myself.
Overall, I think the downtime I've been having with that game, combined with the stormy weather lately has really been helping me to relax. When I'm relaxed, I tend to become more inspired and can write a lot easier. It finally helped allow me to get Chat Vert published, and the next chapter of Madness Within should be coming out within the next few days, probably Monday at the latest. Speaking of Madness Within, that story now has over 600 followers which is just...I can't even...
Like...what?
That many people like my work and follow it? It blew my mind when I checked FanFiction and saw that. I think my brain shut down for a few minutes before I started freaking out. Thank you so much guys! It's stuff like this that really inspires me to keep writing. I never in a million years thought that story would get that much attention. It really means a lot to me.
Pixie out.
But overall, I did finally manage to organise myself a little bit better this week, especially seen as I haven't suffered any lapses in mental health lately. I've been feeling pretty good about myself these past few days. I keep getting random bursts of motivation which is always a weird, but welcome feeling. I lay awake at midnight Wednesday night, determined to sort my life out. Whether that will actually happen remains to be seen though. I get these random urges every now and again and usually nothing ever comes of them. Now I just need to wait for the crippling depression to creep in again and remind me of how pointless those efforts will be.
But I'm going to try and fight it. I've sorted out a few support networks for myself which feels really nice. Granted the professional stuff is going to take weeks, maybe even months to come through (curse the UK's terrible support networks for mentally ill people). But luckily in the meantime, I have some really great friends to help pull me through. Simply just knowing that someone is there and cares about me is enough to help me ride out the depression and anxiety episodes. Just someone's presence is enough to determine whether I sink or float. And I think that's pretty much the same for most people battling mental illness. Just having someone remain by our side through the bad times really helps and makes a difference.
Speaking of friends, I've been invited out to play mini-golf on Sunday. So yeah, that should be interesting. I wonder what I can break by doing that? I haven't played mini-golf in years, so I'm pretty excited, but also nervous because of my clumsiness. Like I said, I hope that I don't break anything. But it should be nice to get out of the house and do something different for a change. And it will be nice to see this friend again as we don't get many opportunities to spend time together lately. We've pretty much been best friends since high school, and we've never fallen out with each other or had one argument in the entire time we've known each other, which is about ten years at this point. Yep, ten years of being best friends and we've never argued once. So it'll be really nice to see her again.
Overall, I've had a pretty uneventful week, thank goodness. It was nice to just slow down for a change. It gave me a chance to think and make sense of all my thoughts and ideas. And it was a huge success! I got my creative mojo back for Chat Vert which was awesome! It felt good to put pen to paper and to actually have ideas form and make sense. I spent some time scribbling some last minute stuff down before I finally settled down to write.
I really do think that the reason I was struggling and having issues with the story is because it's been so long since I did a simple storyline. All of my other stories so far have been pretty complicated, but this one is just meant to be pretty short and simple. But yeah, I have now finally uploaded the story onto FanFiction.net, and you can read the first chapter by clicking here. I just hope that people enjoy it.
This week, I also figured out another story idea, however, I'm going to be keeping this one on the secretive side for...secretive reasons. But it is going to be published very soon, so keep an eye out for any story published by me that just seems to come out of nowhere. The inspiration for this one just kinda hit me out of nowhere. It was an idea I had for a while, but I didn't really know what to do with it. But then all of a sudden it struck me. With a little help from my boyfriend, I hope that I've come up with something really good.
I think what is really going to help me with inspiration at the moment is that storm season is upon us in the UK. This year has been pretty quiet though. Normally by the end of September, we have storm after storm rolling in, but this year has been really quiet. The storm that's hitting us at the moment has been the first one this year I think.
I love storms. It's my favourite kind of whether and always really helps inspire me. Granted we have to be careful of wind damage and flooding, but I always find it really fun and exciting. Most of the time in the UK, if there's a flood, you'll still see people going down to the pub or surfing on the water. The British invented the notion of "keep calm and carry on", and I always find it funny when I see that actually acted out. Literally nothing phases us - apart from when we run out of teabags. My own mum once threw a huge temper tantrum because there wasn't enough milk for her cup of tea. That's definitely a stereotype that's true about us: our obsession with tea. I like tea, but I don't need three cups a day to function like my mum does. I'll just have a cup every now and again when I have a craving, usually when it starts getting colder. Because I cannot have a hot drink in the summer. I have no idea how some people do it.
Anyway, I went off on a bit of a tangent there. Back to talking about storms.
I really don't know what it is about them that inspires me. I guess they make me feel sombre, but in a good way. There's just something about wild weather that's good for a wild mind. I'm one of those people who can walk through rain and it doesn't bother me. I remember once when I went to the coast one year, I was on the beach when a huge storm rolled in, thunder, lightning, wind, torrential rain, the works. Walking through it back to where I was staying was weirdly peaceful. While everyone else was screaming and running for cover, I was just casually walking barefoot back up the cliff. I got soaked, but it didn't bother me at all. I definitely recommend walking barefoot through the rain. It's such a hard to describe liberating feeling.
So these last few days have been really fun as a result of all the stormy weather.
Apart from writing and planning out ideas, I've mostly been spending this week Christmas shopping which I always despise with a passion. Not because I hate buying people things, I love getting people gifts, no matter how paranoid I feel that they might not like them. It's the fact that I hate other shoppers. I get really frustrated and anxious, especially when stores are really busy as they tend to be this time of year. But I'm glad I got it all done early this year before the stores get any busier than they are now. I ended up injuring my wrist pretty badly due to how heavy one of the presents I decided to buy was.
I don't even like Christmas, yet I try my best to put in as much effort as possible. I know, I know, I probably sound like a total Scrooge right now, but I don't hate Christmas for the stereotypical reasons. Christmas is just a time of year that's full of a lot of bad memories for me, that's all. I try to look past them, but it can sour my spirit a little bit. Though I do get annoyed by the holiday for some of the stereotypical reasons. As stated before, I hate Christmas shopping, and I hate having to pretend to be nice to family when we really couldn't care less about each other.
But if there's one thing I do love, it's the food! Though unfortunately my mum is a terrible cook, so that's why this year, I have insisted on cooking and helping out. I'm not the best cook in the world, but I at least know how to season stuff and not forget the pigs in blankets, arguably the most important part of any Christmas dinner.
I still can't believe that Christmas is almost upon us. It's freaking me out. I really don't know where this year has gone. Though to be honest, I'm kinda glad. 2018 has been a horrible year for me, and I can't wait for it to be over. I mean, some good things have happened to me this year such as starting writing again, making a few new friends, and graduating university with the grade I wanted. However so many bad things also happened, and not the usual kind of bad, but as if the universe was trying to see how far it could push me.
Though knowing my luck, 2019 will probably be an even worse year now that I've said all this. I really need to learn to stop jinxing myself. But I've definitely got a few things to cheer me up, and stuff that has kept me from going completely cover the edge this year.
One of those things being a game called Animal Crossing: New Leaf. I've become extra addicted to it these past few days as well. I actually think I need to enter into some sort of rehab or something. I can't manage my life in the real world, but I can sure as hell manage a virtual one. Sometimes I just wish I can live in that game universe. Where I can just make money by fishing, bug catching, selling fruit and seashells, buying all the cute furniture and outfits, and being a downright awesome mayor for all of my animal villagers. Why can't real life be that simple and fun? I finally passed all of Gracie's fashion tests and I'm not ashamed to admit that I danced around a bit when that happened. It took me years to figure those stupid tests out. I know, I must look stupid...and you're probably right there. But I am now a fashionista! This means I can get the final store upgrade which is awesome! Bamboo everywhere!
 |
| Animal Crossing: New Leaf. My Current Addiction |
And hey, if you play that game too, and if you ever wanna see what my town looks like and want to have a nosy around, my dream address is: 6D00-0119-20BB. Also, if you wanna become friends and hang out in game, feel free to let me know as I'd be more than happy to. Though my town is slightly on the messy side as I have been breeding flowers like crazy and I'm still trying to organise stuff.
So I think it's official that I definitely have a problem. But hey, I can think of worse things to be addicted to. At least I'm learning. I can now identify the species of a lot of bugs and fish as I found out while watching I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. Do I have any British readers who watch that show too? The fact that I could identify and smugly proclaim that I had caught that particular species and donated it to my museum was the moment I realised I had a huge problem. I also went into a pet store the other day and found that I could identify pretty much all the fish species they were selling. I both amazed and disappointed myself.
Overall, I think the downtime I've been having with that game, combined with the stormy weather lately has really been helping me to relax. When I'm relaxed, I tend to become more inspired and can write a lot easier. It finally helped allow me to get Chat Vert published, and the next chapter of Madness Within should be coming out within the next few days, probably Monday at the latest. Speaking of Madness Within, that story now has over 600 followers which is just...I can't even...
Like...what?
That many people like my work and follow it? It blew my mind when I checked FanFiction and saw that. I think my brain shut down for a few minutes before I started freaking out. Thank you so much guys! It's stuff like this that really inspires me to keep writing. I never in a million years thought that story would get that much attention. It really means a lot to me.
Pixie out.
Comments
Post a Comment